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Buy My Screenplay: Matt Damon Returns In “The Pretty Good Wall”

May. 12 Classified, Living no comments

This advertorial does not necessarily reflect the views of Coma News Daily.

ADVERTORIAL

My Amazing Screenplay

I’m Dee Collins and all I do is sit around and pump out the most amazing screenplays of all time and then try to sell them through traditional classified advertising methods. Read my ad below and contact me to buy my screenplay!

I’ve just completed my latest screenplay and it is really good! It’s called “The Pretty Good Wall” and it is a sequel to the mega-blockbuster film “The Great Wall” starring Matt Damon.

This movie has everything you want in a movie. It has Matt Damon. It has a wall. It has EVERYTHING!

Below is a sample of one scene. If you like it and would like to buy it, please let me know.

I’m offering it at a discount right now for only $400,000 but you better act fast because this deal won’t last. This is going to be a hot property because of the unprecedented success of “The Great Wall.”

LOG LINE

Matt Damon is back at it. After defending the Great Wall of China, Matt finds himself protecting a modest brick wall in the foothills of the Sahara Desert from evil, fire-breathing dragons. Featuring popular actor Jon Hamm and the voice of Academy Award winner Meryl Streep as “Beans the Dragon”, The Pretty Good Wall will raise the bar on movies about walls.

EXT. SAHARA DESERT- DAY

Matt Damon and popular actor Jon Hamm are standing behind a modest, ten-foot long wall in the middle of the desert. Both men look haggard and exhausted. Dirt and blood cover their faces. They stare off in the distance, spears and weapons clutched firmly in their hands.

JON HAMM

Man, I love walls.

MATT DAMON

Me too, Jon. Me too.

JON HAMM

But I HATE dragons, LOL!

Matt Damon laughs and slaps Jon Hamm on the back.

MATT DAMON

I was just thinking the same thing. That’s funny Jon. Very funny.

The two men continue to stare off in the distance, scanning the vacant horizon. Jon moves his spear from one hand to the other and shakes out his free hand.

JON HAMM

My hand keeps cramping up.

MATT DAMON

Yeah. I hate that.

(beat)

Man, I love this wall. I mean, I love ALL walls. They are just like the best things in the world. But this one…this one is really awesome.

JON HAMM

I’m surprised you haven’t tried to hump it yet, LOL!

Matt Damon bursts into hysterical laughter.

MATT DAMON

The day is still young, Jon Hamm! The day is still young!

The two men go silent again and return their gaze to the horizon. Jon Hamm steps forward. His eyes narrow.

JON HAMM

Is that a dragon?

Jon Hamm points to somewhere far off in the distance. Matt Damon steps forward and studies the area for a moment.

MATT DAMON

No. I think it’s a kite.

Jon Hamm walks forward, his eyes still locked on the horizon.

JON HAMM

Oh. Yeah. I think you’re right.

(beat)

Fucking kites, man. I mean…what’s the point?

Matt Damon laughs heartily and slaps Jon Hamm on the back.

MATT DAMON

So true, Jon Hamm. That is spot on. I was thinking the same thing. That’s definitely laugh-out-loud funny!

The two men continue to stare off in the distance.

——————————————

That’s all you get for now! Remember, The Great Wall is a gigantic, international blockbuster! People will want a sequel. This is that sequel! Anyhow, contact me! Let’s make movies!

Contact Dee Collins at townofcoma@hotmail.com

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Tags: dee collins, dragons, films, matt damon, movies, screenplay

Rare Hollywood Merchandise Goes on Sale this Weekend

Feb. 24 News no comments

by Coma New Staff

Just in time for the Academy Awards, local memorabilia collector Dee Collins announced this week she is selling select pieces of her vast collection of extremely rare Hollywood merchandise.

“These are pieces that capture some of the most memorable moments in film making history,” Collins said. “The craftsmanship, quality and nostalgia are impeccable.”

ABOVE: “The English Patient” hand-soap dispenser features actor Ralph Fiennes as the lovable burn victim.

Among the items Collins is offering is a throw pillow featuring Leonardo DiCaprio as Hugh Glass from the film “The Revenant,” a limited-edition “Benjamin Button” lampshade, an imported hand-soap dispenser featuring Ralph Fiennes as the burn victim from “The English Patient” and a Talented Mr. Ripley’s Chef’s Choice Diamond Hone Electric Knife Sharpener 310 featuring Matt Damon as Tom Ripley.

According to Collins, it is not uncommon for film studios to make limited-runs of merchandise to help promote their films. Collins has spent years building her collection, which also includes a “Howard’s End” toothbrush set, a comforter featuring the cast of “The Insider” and a beer cozy from the film “Milk” featuring Sean Penn as Harvey Milk.

ABOVE: The intensity of Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar-winning performance is captured perfectly in this cozy, soft throw pillow.

Collins said she has spent nearly 15 years assembling her collection and hopes to one day open a museum dedicated to motion pictures and film memorabilia. Part of her motivation for selling select pieces now is to raise money to help make that dream come true.

ABOVE: This electric knife sharpener was part of a limited “The Talented Mr. Ripley” series of knife sharpeners that also included Jude Law and Kate Blanchett.

“I want a place for people to go and be able to see things like a child’s sippy cup featuring the movie poster for ‘Cold Mountain,” Collins said. “I want to create that magical experience for people who love movies as much as I do.”

Collins, who is a noted children’s author and who has scripted more than 400 screenplays, said the sale will run through this weekend to coincide with the Academy Awards ceremony on Sunday. Prices range from $500 to $2,500 for more rare items.

ABOVE: Brad Pitt’s famous turn as the adorable Benjamin Button is forever memorialized on this exquisite and stylish lamp shade.

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Tags: dee collins, film, matt damon, movies

Local Artist Unveils Latest Series of Sports Paintings

Feb. 09 Sports no comments

by Coma News Staff

Expressing a desire to capture the “essence” of America’s greatest moments in sports, local artist Dee Collins unveiled her latest series of sports paintings this week. The collection, titled “Believe in the Unbelievable”, represents Collins’ third installment in the series.

“There are unforgettable moments in sports,” Collins said. “We remember exactly where we were when these events happened. I wanted to capture those moments for an eternity.”

ABOVE: Collilns’ painting “The Catch Everyone Keeps Talking About” highlights the now-famous catch by New England Patriots wide receiver Julian Edelman at Super Bowl LI

The latest series consists of three paintings, including one titled “The Catch Everyone Keeps Talking About” featuring New England Patriots’ wide receiver Julian Edelman making what some called one of the greatest catches in Super Bowl history just last weekend.

Collins will have the paintings on display at her studio in Coma and reminded reporters that her work is for sale. Although she wouldn’t give specific details regarding cost, Collins said, she won’t consider anything less than five figures.

“You will not find paintings like these anywhere else in the world,” Collins said. “Literally. By definition a painting is unique. I’m willing to consider a discount if you bundle your purchase.”

ABOVE: Collins’ painting titled “Bald Man Jumps with Basketball to Score” features Michael Jordan’s iconic 1988 slam dunk

The latest series also includes a painting of NBA legend Michael Jordan performing his signature slam dunk during the 1988 dunk contest and a painting of the most decorated athlete in Olympic history, Michael Phelps, competing at the 2012 Olympic games.

Collins, a prolific author, screenwriter and artist, said she has a passion for sports and that her work represents moments she remembered or learned about when doing an online search for “memorable sports moments.”

“I am a sports fan, for sure,” Collins said. “I like the New York Patriots and basketball teams and…golf balling is fun too.”

Collins said she expects this series of paintings to sell quickly, mostly because of the timing and the fact that so many people are still talking about the historic comeback and finish at last weekend’s Super Bowl in Houston.

ABOVE: Collins’ “Swimmer In the Pool” captures one of Michael Phelps most famous swims during the 2012 Summer Olympics

“Do you have fifteen thousand dollars and want to remember the incredible catch by Julius Edelen?” Collins posted on her website this week. “Then come down to Dee Collins studio and buy an original painting by Dee Collins.”

Collins said the paintings will remain on display until the end of the month or until they are sold out.

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Tags: art, dee collins, Football, michael jordan, olympics, sports, super bowl

Local Writer’s New Book Explores Vampires, Weightlifting

Jan. 09 Living no comments

By Coma News Daily Staff

Coma resident and popular children’s author Dee Collins released her latest effort this week at a book signing in Coma.

Titled “I Think This Dude at My Gym is a Vampire But I’m Not Sure,” the 49-page illustrated book follows the story of Bill Ray, an avid and committed gym rat and his pursuit to determine if one of the dudes that works out at his gym is a vampire.

According to Collins, the book is intended to raise questions about assumptions and the author is hopeful it will make children pause and reflect before jumping to conclusions without sufficient facts or evidence to support those conclusions.

ABOVE: Dee Collins’ latest offering focuses on jumping to conclusions. And weightlifting.

Throughout the story, Bill Ray finds clues that support his hypothesis that the dude at his gym might be a vampire. While some of the clues are subtle, like the fact the dude does not have a reflection in the mirror, has long, pointy teeth and generally looks “creepy,” Bill Ray can’t make up his mind for certain about whether the dude truly is a vampire or not.

“People need to not judge others by what they see on the outside or by some series of events that may turn out to be coincidence,” Collins said. “This book frames that concept nicely and children will walk away with a better appreciation for looking beyond the superficial qualities of others.”

In one particularly dramatic part of the story, Bill Ray arrives at the gym early one morning to discover blood smeared across the floor, walls and exercise equipment. He goes to the locker room to find the dude sitting on a bench, his hands and mouth covered in blood. While such evidence would seem to support Bill Ray’s assumption that the dude is a vampire, he reserves further judgement until more evidence is presented.

“Most people would walk through that gym and locker room and be like ‘that guy is definitely a vampire who just killed somebody,’” Collins said. “But Bill Ray is not most people. He’s not going to jump to that conclusion. There may be a perfectly sound explanation for what he saw. He doesn’t have enough information to draw those conclusions.”

While some critics have praised the life-like artwork, others have expressed frustration over the protagonist’s stubbornness to confront reality.

“I mean, in one scene, this Bill Ray guy finds the gym dude sucking the blood out of a lifeless body stuffed inside his locker,” one critic noted. “Come on! That is literally the definition of what a vampire is. How can Bill Ray still not be sure?”

Collins said her latest effort is among her proudest achievements and believes it can help a generation of young people start to see the world in a whole new light.

“I Think This Dude at My Gym is a Vampire” goes on sale next week at bookstores across the country.

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Tags: book review, books, children's literature, dee collins, vampires

Buy My Screenplay ‘Batman vs. Aliens’

Oct. 11 Living no comments

This advertorial does not necessarily reflect the views of Coma News Daily.

ADVERTORIAL

My Amazing Screenplay

I have this screenplay called “Batman Fights the Aliens” and it’s about Batman fighting aliens from the popular movie “Aliens”.

This movie has everything you want in a movie. It has Batman. It has aliens. It has action. It has really cool special effects that will blow your mind like fireworks.

Below is a sample of one scene. If you like it and would like to buy it, please let me know.

I’m offering it at a discount right now for only $700,000 but you better act fast because this deal won’t last.

LOG LINE

Set in a strange alien world in the heart of New York City, aliens have attacked Earth and have killed every single human being in the world. But they forgot about Batman! And he’s not happy. Batman fights the aliens and tries to save the Earth in this action-packed-action movie.

EXT. BROOKLYN BRIDGE- NIGHT

Batman is walking along the Brooklyn Bridge alone (because everyone in the world is dead) and minding his own business.

Suddenly a bunch of aliens show up and start looking at him. Some of the aliens are carrying bats and guns but Batman doesn’t seem nervous or anything.

BATMAN

You guys better leave me alone if you know what’s good for you.

ALIEN #1

We’ve killed every human on earth except for you!

BATMAN

Why don’t you shut up!

ALIEN #2

Why don’t you make us!

BATMAN

I don’t make trash, I burn it. Or recycle. Sometimes I even re-purpose depending on what it is.

The aliens attack Batman! What’s going to happen? Is he going to die? Not today! Batman starts kicking their butts. He kicks them and punches them and then pulls out a knife.

The aliens see the knife and run away.

BATMAN

They should call those guys “lame-iens”.

Batman smiles and keeps walking on the bridge alone in the post alien apocalypse.

FADE OUT

——————————————

I also want to point out that the catch-phrase “you should call those guys ‘lame-iens’” is a line that will be repeated throughout the movie. It would look really cool on t-shirts. Anyhow, contact me! Let’s make movies!

Contact Dee Collins at townofcoma@hotmail.com

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Tags: aliens, batman, dee collins, film, movies, screenplay

Buy My Screenplay: R2-D2 Stars in ‘Ninja City’

Aug. 26 Classified, Living no comments

This advertorial does not necessarily reflect the views of Coma News Daily.

ADVERTORIAL

My Amazing Screenplay

I’m Dee Collins and all I do is sit around and pump out the most amazing screenplays every day and then try to sell them through traditional classified advertising methods. Read my ad below and contact me to buy my screenplay! (for just mid to upper 7 figures!!!)

My latest screenplay, titled ‘Ninja City’, is hot off the press and ready for sale! It only took me 3 hours to write! It’s ‘Star Wars: Episode II’ meets ‘Serpico’ but with ninjas.

R2-D2 is a down-on-his-luck undercover police officer on the mean streets of Boise, Idaho. His job is to take down the city’s ruthless crime lord and his legion of trained, killer assassins. But R2-D2 is not only fighting the crime lord and his assassins, he’s also dealing with a serious drug addiction, faulty wiring, a corrupt Police Captain and a wife (played by Emma Stone) who is threatening to leave him for a younger and much hotter android.

See below for an excerpt of this amazing movie script! If you want to buy, hit me up and let’s do business for only 1.2 million (in cash not cashier’s checks) this screenplay can be yours!!!

EXT. DARK ALLEY- NIGHT

R2-D2 is standing next to a dumpster. There is loud MUSIC coming from a bar nearby. He takes a long drink from a bottle of something strong but doesn’t fall over because he’s a HEAVY ROBOT. EMMA STONE walks out from the bar looking hot and sexy but yet vulnerable.

EMMA STONE

R2D2… I mean, Dylan? Where are you?

R2 D2 rolls out from behind the dumpster. He’s wearing a black KISS type wig.

R2 D2

I’m right here Emma Stone.

EMMA STONE

What are you doing out here? When did you start talking?

Suddenly, a pack of wild-looking NINJAS drop from the sky like raindrop NINJAS, each wielding deadly swords!

R2 D2

(to Emma Stone)

Look out Emma Stone.

Emma Stone ducks behind the dumpster. R2 D2 takes out a handgun and starts shooting all the ninjas. The NINJAS fall because everyone knows a GUN beats NINJAS. In the process of the shootout, R2 D2’s wig falls off his head.

R2 D2

Oh no! My wig fell off my head. My cover is blown!

One of the ninjas looks up from the pool of blood he is lying in.

NINJA

Wait…you’re…an…android? You’re not Gene Simmons?

R2 D2

That’s right.

NINJA

I’m gonna tell.

R2 D2 picks up his wig and places it back on top of his head. He rolls over to the ninja.

R2 D2

You’re going to have a hard time telling anybody anything without a face.

R2 D2 shoots the ninjas face off.

CUT TO:

————————

As you can see, this might be my most powerful and intimate script yet! Don’t wait because this is gonna get sold in a hurry! If you’d like to read the entire script or want to buy it straight up from this sample, contact me NOW!

Dee Collins

townofcoma@hotmail.com

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Tags: dee collins, movies, R2-D2, screenplay, Star Wars

Buy My Screenplay ‘The Fifth Sense: a Prequel’

Jun. 20 Living no comments

This advertorial does not necessarily reflect the views of Coma News Daily.

My Amazing Screenplay Just BUY IT

The Fifth Sense: A Prequel to the Popular Thriller ‘The Sixth Sense’

I’m Dee Collins and all I do is pump out the most amazing screenplays of all time and then sell them through traditional classified advertising methods. Read my classified ad below and then contact me to buy my amazing screenplay for at least $700,000!

Titled, The Fifth Sense: A Prequel to the Popular Thriller ‘The Sixth Sense’, this film tells the story of the boy who sees dead people before he started seeing dead people.

And yes, Bruce Willis returns to reprise his role as the guy who teaches people how to deal with undiscovered senses.

LOGLINE

Before that little kid could see dead people in the popular thriller ‘The Sixth Sense’, he came to terms with another sense; the sense of touch. With the help of Bruce Willis, the little kid learns how things feel and how to describe textures.

Can he do it? You’ll have to purchase this screenplay to find out, but here’s a little hint; YES!

He does because Bruce Willis helps him.

“The Fifth Sense: A Prequel to the Popular Thriller ‘The Sixth Sense’”

Starring Bruce Willis and the little kid from the movie “The Sixth Sense”

INT. LIVING ROOM- DAY

Bruce Willis sits in a chair and stares at the little kid from The Sixth Sense. The little kid sits on a couch and extends his hand toward a lamp on a nearby coffee table.

LITTLE KID

I don’t feel anything.

The little kid waves his arms around in the air and looks panicked.

BRUCE WILLIS

You’re not touching anything. You’re not going to feel something until you physically make contact with it. You’re swinging at air, kid.

The little kid slowly leans forward until he is close enough to touch the base of the lamp. He runs his hands over the lamp and then smiles.

LITTLE KID

Hey, I can feel it. It feels like…like…I don’t know what it feels like. This is the first time I’ve ever felt something.

BRUCE WILLIS

It feels like a lamp because that’s what it is. If you’re going to describe it, say it feels like a lamp.

LITTLE KID

Dr. Willis, does everything in the world feel exactly like this lamp feels?

Bruce Willis rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

BRUCE WILLIS

No. There’s all kinds of things that things feel like. Leather, wood, fruit, suction cups. There’s dozens of different things to feel.

LITTLE KID

Can I stop touching the lamp now?

BRUCE WILLIS

No.

————————————-

That’s all I’m going to share! If you want to buy this screenplay (I’m asking between $700,000 and $1.3 million) to find out what happens, get in touch soon! This is a sure-fire box-office smash!

Dee Collins

townofcoma@hotmail.com

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Tags: bruce willis, dee collins, movies, screenplay, the sixth sense

Buy My Screenplay ‘Invasion: Fight Til Dawn’

Feb. 16 Classified, Living no comments

This advertorial does not reflect the views of Coma News Daily

Invasion: Fight Til Dawn

Starring Leonardo Dicaprio and Flo from the Progressive Insurance TV commercials

I’m Dee Collins and all I do is pump out the most amazing screenplays of all time and then sell them through traditional classified advertising methods. Read my ad below and then contact me to buy my screenplay!

THIS IS THE MOVIE HOLLYWOOD DOESN’T WANT YOU TO SEE! Finally, an apocalyptic alien invasion movie without all the clichés! This big-budget summer blockbuster will make billions of dollars.

LOGLINE

Aliens have invaded earth and they aren’t happy! Can a washed-up private investigator (played by Leonardo Dicaprio), and a down-on-her-luck notary public (played by Flo from the Progressive Insurance TV commercials) save the world before it is too late? Maybe.

Below is a sample of this gut-wrenching, eye-popping disaster epic:

EXT. MOBILE, ALABAMA- DAY

Terror-filled SCREAMS and CRIES FOR HELP ring out across the city as people run and scramble for safety. The scene is complete pandemonium. In the sky, an ALIEN SPACESHIP hovers above one of the many skyscrapers.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO, a washed-up private investigator, takes cover behind an abandoned car in the middle of a chaotic street. By his side is FLO FROM THE PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE COMMERCIALS ON TELEVISION.

The alien spaceship shoots laser beams at a large building, creating a HUGE EXPLOSION. Concrete, glass and steel rain down on the street below.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO

Those aliens are blowing up a bunch of stuff!

FLO FROM TV COMMERCIAL

What do you think they want?

LEONARDO DICAPRIO

Same thing everybody wants Flo…

(beat)

Money.

FLO FROM TV COMMERCIAL

Why do you think they want money?

LEONARDO DICAPRIO

They are probably holding us ransom until we pay them a bunch of money. Like A LOT.

FLO FROM TV COMMERCIAL

But what good would our money be to them? I mean…like, what would they spend it on?

The alien spaceship fires another laser beam and destroys a second building. Leonardo and Flo cover their heads as debris from the explosion flies all around them.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO

I don’t know. Yachts, a nice watch, fancy galas. Same thing all the rich people spend their money on.

FLO FROM TV COMMERCIAL

What are we going to do?

Leonardo Dicaprio reaches for a chunk of concrete.

LEONARDO DICAPRIO

We’re going to fight back!

Leonardo Dicaprio stands up and hurls the chunk of concrete as hard as he can at the alien spaceship, hitting it squarely. The spaceship wobbles in the air for a moment, seemingly losing all ability to navigate, before crashing into a large building and exploding.

———–

That’s all for now! If you want to buy this screenplay, get in touch with me immediately. For a limited time, I’m offering this and “Death Cow” as a package for $650,000! You can’t beat that deal! Don’t wait!

Dee Collins

townofcoma@gmail.com

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Tags: action, dee collins, disaster, film, movies, screenplays

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Tag: dee collins

Buy My Screenplay: Matt Damon Returns In “The Pretty Good Wall”

Rare Hollywood Merchandise Goes on Sale this Weekend

Local Artist Unveils Latest Series of Sports Paintings

Local Writer’s New Book Explores Vampires, Weightlifting

Buy My Screenplay ‘Batman vs. Aliens’

Buy My Screenplay: R2-D2 Stars in ‘Ninja City’

Buy My Screenplay ‘The Fifth Sense: a Prequel’

Buy My Screenplay ‘Invasion: Fight Til Dawn’

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