Tag: Star Wars

Double Take Offers Premier Celebrity Lookalikes at Affordable Prices

Mar. 27 Classified, Living no comments
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The following is a paid advertisement

by Micah Horncraft, Founder and CEO, Double Take, LLC

Double Take is celebrating its three-month anniversary! In case you’ve been living under a rock for the last 90 days, Double Take is Coma’s premier, full-service celebrity impersonators agency.  We feature more than 40 celebrity lookalikes and are adding more every week!

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ABOVE: Advertisement for Double Take, Coma’s newest celebrity lookalike agency

Do you have an upcoming ribbon-cutting ceremony?  Or maybe a car wash fundraising event?  Need to inject some cache into your next PTA meeting? Let Double Take find a celebrity lookalike for your event and be prepared to be wowed.

Don’t believe me?  See below for some real-life testimonials from real-life clients…

“ANDERSON COOPER” RUBS ELBOWS WITH GENESYSTEMS EMPLOYEES

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ABOVE: Anderson Cooper celebrity lookalike, Milar Mlynar wows guests at a recent corporate event

“People were completely freaking out all over the place because they thought that guy from CNN was actually at our mandatory company event. I was surprised he had such a thick European accent, but otherwise, I think most people had a hard time believing it WASN’T Anderson Cooper.”

– Rory Shields, Office Manager, Genesystems, Inc.

CHRISTIAN BALE “MIXES” IT UP AT CHAMBER OF COMMERCE MIXER

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ABOVE: Christian Bale lookalike, Dennis Hornbuckle (center) mingles with guests at Coma Chamber of Commerce’s Summer Mixer

“It was like hanging out with Bruce Wayne at a Chili’s for two hours.  I was a little nervous at first because he asked me if I had any weed or something stronger. But outside of him getting a little touchy with some of the female guests and the fact he walked out on his bill, he was a spot-on impersonator and our guests had a great time.  For the record, a few of the guests thought he was supposed to be Michael Caine.  But, it all worked out in the end.”

– Sylvia Strong, President, Coma Chamber of Commerce

STAR WARS ANDROID A BIG HIT AT CREDIT UNION OPENING

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ABOVE: A piece of metal painted to look like a robot (left) served as the C3PO lookalike at a recent ribbon-cutting ceremony.

“The children really enjoyed having one of their favorite Star Wars characters on hand. There was also this guy dressed in a black cowboy hat and black leather jacket. We thought maybe he was supposed to be Chewbacca or Darth Vader, but we weren’t sure.  Other than that, it seemed like it was worth the fifty dollars to hire the C3PO impersonator.”

– Gary Buecher, Manager, Coma Employee Credit Union

And those are just a few of the happy customers we have served in our first few months of operation.  You could be our next happy customer! Contact Double Take, LLC today and find out how we can help you create an unforgettable experience for your customers, coworkers or friends!

 

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Mayor Shows Off Newly Discovered Excel Skills

Feb. 13 News no comments
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by Coma News Staff

Mayor Dave Anderson announced this week he has recently “taken up” Microsoft Excel and vowed to use the popular software program to improve press conferences, share important data and to generally “add more cool technology” to the town’s government.

Anderson, who included several large-print graphs and pie charts during his announcement, said he stumbled upon Excel by accident while trying to open the YouTube link on his desktop.

“The little icon had always been there,” Anderson said. “But I assumed it was a program only accountants or scientists used. Not mayors. It’s so cool.”

ABOVE: Anderson shares a graph he recently made after discovering Microsoft Excel by accident. “It’s so cool,” the mayor told reporters.

The mayor started “playing around” with the program and quickly discovered a number of interesting features and useful purposes he believes can help city government be more “big time.”

Anderson shared several of his projects at the press conference, including his very first Excel project; a smiley face made by filling cells with different colors.

“It’s not only a great tool for making graphs,” Anderson said. “You can also use it for art. It’s so cool.”

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ABOVE: Anderson’s pie chart revealing his favorite Star Wars characters by percentage points

According to his critics, Anderson’s announcement lacked real substance and once again demonstrated the three-term mayor’s ability to divert attention from real issues.

“They were rudimentary at best,” former council member Bob Smith-Smith said of the mayor’s charts. “He clearly has a tenuous grasp on analytics, data and statistics. One graph was dedicate to the types of graphs he had made so far. What purpose does that serve?”

Anderson said he felt “re-energized” by the software tool and he looked forward to using it daily to help run the government more efficiently.

The mayor shared several charts, including a pie chart that showed his favorite Star Wars characters and one showing the types of coffee he enjoys drinking (dark roast).

“I fail to see the relevance in explaining to the press your favorite Star Wars character,” Smith-Smith said. “And, ‘Yoga?’ I mean, was that a typo or does he actually think there is a Star Wars character named Yoga?”

Anderson cut the press conference short and said he wanted to continue to explore the “cool” program further.

“There are dozens of things you can use it for,” Anderson said. “You can make lists. You can do other stuff. I think we’re just scratching the surface. It’s so cool.”

 

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Mayor Opens New Star Wars-Themed Playground in Coma

Jan. 05 News no comments
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By Coma News Daily Staff

Mayor Dave Anderson kicked off the new year by welcoming visitors to Coma’s newest attraction; a space-aged, Star Wars-themed playground at a ceremony this week.

Approximately two dozen local residents attended the opening for the long-anticipated playground, which took nearly four years of planning and cost the city more than $60 to build.

ABOVE: "Hoth: Post Global Warming" allows children to run around in an empty grass field, much like what Hoth may resemble without the snow and ice

ABOVE: “Hoth: Post Global Warming” allows children to run around in an empty grass field, much like what Hoth may resemble without the snow and ice

“Star Wars movies have long inspired children’s imaginations,” Anderson told the crowd at the opening. “Now we will have a place for those children to live-out their own Star Wars adventures for generations to come.”

Some of the features and attractions of the new playground include:

ABOVE: The Millennium Falcon ride at the new playground provides thrills for children looking to reenact their favorite scenes from the popular spacecraft

ABOVE: The Millennium Falcon ride at the new playground provides thrills for children looking to reenact their favorite scenes from the popular spacecraft

  • “Hoth: Post Global Warming.” Children can run around on patches of grass in an open part of the lot that answers the question “What would the planet Hoth look like without all that ice and snow?” The answer, of course, is a vacant grass lot.
  • Emperor Palpatine’s Throne. A fun, interactive “throne” where children can sit and pretend to be the lovable Emperor Palpatine. Constructed entirely from repurposed materials including some old 4×4 deck posts and pallets, this is sure to be a hit with children of all ages.
ABOVE: Emperor Palpatine's Throne. This scale replica of the famous rulers chair is made of re-purposed lumber

ABOVE: Emperor Palpatine’s Throne. This scale replica of the famous rulers chair is made of re-purposed lumber

  • “VB8.” Kids will certainly get a “kick” out of Coma’s own version of the popular android BB8 from Episode VII. Coma’s version is an old volleyball (thus, “VB8”). The ball will be lying around for children to interact with while visiting the park.
  • Hay and Tube Thing. The playground’s centerpiece is an arrangement of hay and a black plastic conduit “tube”. Playground designers did not specify how this element ties in with Star Wars.
  • “Millennium Falcon Ride.” In what is sure to be a favorite for Han Solo fans, the playground features a Millennium Falcon ride in which riders sit on opposite ends of a beam, facing each other.
  • “Tattoine Reimagined.” Ever wonder what Tattoine, the popular desert-like planet from Star Wars, would look like with more vegetation? Wonder no more.  Children can run around on patches of grass in an open part of the lot that answers the question for you.
ABOVE: "VB8" is an interactive volleyball that resembles popular android BB8

ABOVE: “VB8″ is an interactive volleyball that resembles popular android BB8

Anderson said the new playground adds another attraction for the town as it seeks to increase tourism and noted the playground represents Coma’s “continued commitment to providing only the best experiences for our children.”

“This is a magical place that will put Coma on the map when it comes to popular themed entertainment destinations,” Anderson said.

ABOVE: Hay and Tube thing

ABOVE: Hay and Tube thing

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Sports Prognosticator, Cartel Leader Hutt Confirmed Dead

Dec. 06 News no comments
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By Coma News Daily Staff

Authorities confirmed this week that popular NFL expert and reputed crime boss, Jabba Desilijic Tiure (Jabba the Hutt), was murdered by a group of rebels at the Great Pit of Carkoon last week.

While details were still emerging, authorities said Jabba was murdered following a surprise attack on his recreational sailing barge while entertaining guests.  The attack, which is still under investigation, sent shockwaves across the Outer Rim Territories and much of the Midwest.

“By all accounts, Mr. Hutt and his guests were enjoying an afternoon in the desert and were savagely and ruthlessly attacked by a band of rebel scum,” a source close the investigation said. “It’s disturbing.  You can’t even host a friendly get together on a sail barge without being murdered by criminals these days.”

Hutt, who some claim had ties to organized crime including arms dealing, spice smuggling and gambling, appeared to put his troubled past behind him recently and had gained following as a popular sports prognosticator and NFL expert.

The death of the beloved, jovial Hutt caught many by surprise, including many of those who followed his weekly NFL pick column on the Coma News Daily website.

“I was really shocked,” said Jax Owen.  “Mostly because I thought he had died a long time ago.”

Authorities said they are continuing their investigation and confirmed the suspects were still at large and considered to be armed and dangerous.

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Jabba The Hutt Predicts Football Game- Week 9

Nov. 04 News, Sports no comments
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Jabba The Hutt Predicts Football Game Week 9

Two Weeks Ago- 2 – 2

Season- 11 – 13

I’m Jabba The Hutt.  You may know me best for my appearance in several Star Wars Movie films.  But my friends know me as basically a chilled-out dude who enjoys spending a Sunday in the fall watching football and eating gently-peeled bananas.

 

What a crazy few weeks it has been around The Hutt household.  Jabba has not been doing well.  First, there was the ordeal with the deep fryer at Buffalo Wild Wings a few weeks ago.  My hands are still wrapped from that little incident.  Jabba has learned patience when it comes to waiting for deep-fried cheese curds.  It is best to wait for the server to bring them to your table.  It is not a self-serve sort of arrangement, if you know what I mean.  Ha ha ha, ho ho ho! But seriously, it’s no laughing matter.  My friend Greedo is actually typing this for me.  I’m saying the words out loud and Greedo is typing them onto the computer.

Speaking of friends, I’d like to thank Boba Fett for filling in for me two weeks ago.  Boba doesn’t know a lot about the football games, but he was pretty good in going 2 -2 with his picks.  Not bad for a bounty hunter, am I right? LOL!

I intended to make my picks last week but fell asleep for nine days.  It’s not uncommon for Hutts to sleep for very long periods of time.  I remember one time while on a trip to the Kasian System, I fell asleep for 16 days straight.  Crazy! I missed the star-studded cotillion on Monta, which was the whole purpose of the trip!

“Wait! Jabba The Hutt attend fancy affairs like cotillions? But I thought he was an apish, small-minded thug who only took pleasure in terrorizing those who can’t defend themselves or owe him some paltry sum of money.”

Wrong! Jabba has attended many well-healed events including galas, balls and even local chamber of commerce after-hours mixers.  Why? Because Jabbat The Hutt is a classy, complex and distinguished Hutt with a wide range of interests.  He is just as comfortable shaking down petty smugglers and Applebee’s dishwashers for pocket change as he is getting dressed up for a night of karaoke at the local International House of Pancakes.

Anyhow, my doctor has encouraged me to limit my picks this week.  He says it is causing me unnecessary stress.  So, this week I’m offering up one pick. But I consider this Jabba’s stone-cold lock of the season.  If you were ever going to wager on one of my picks, I encourage you to do so this week…

Indianapolis Colts at Green Bay Packers

Green Bay’s offense has looked much-improved in the past two games.  If the Packers can keep this up, they should be in great shape to win the division.  The Colts’ defense has struggled and those struggles should continue at Lambeau Field on Sunday.  Expect Rodgers and Company to keep rolling at home and put away the Colts early.

GREEN BAY 30 INDIANAPOLIS 17

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Jabba The Hutt Predicts Football Games- Week 6

Oct. 14 Sports no comments
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Jabba The Hutt Predicts Football Games Week 6

Last Week- 3 – 1

Season- 8 – 8

I’m Jabba The Hutt.  You may know me best for my appearance in several Star Wars Movies films.  But my friends know me as basically a chilled-out dude who enjoys spending a Sunday in the Fall watching football and eating 100 Grand candy bars.

Progress! For those of you have have written to me to ask about my on-going litigation with the Pizza Hut pizza company, this was a big week for me.  I drafted a very strong, yet professional letter to the manager of my local Pizza Hut as I continue to implore them to change their name to avoid further postal service confusion.  I have included a copy of the letter at the end of this article for your review.  I think this very frustrating chapter of my life may finally be coming to a close (fingers crossed!).

Speaking of coming to a close (“What’s that? Jabba The Hutt can seamlessly seque from one topic to another? But, he’s just some bloated, globular creature without a brain!!” Wrong! I’m a complex, happy-go-lucky dude who is just a comfortable playing World of Warcraft until 4 a.m. as I am playing Call of Duty on the xBox until 2:30 in the morning)…wait.  I forgot where I was.

Oh! Yes.  Speaking of coming to a close, Jabba is now .500 on his picks for the season.  This is turning into a really great week for me.

Here are your sure-fire picks of the week…

Pittsburgh Steelers at Miami Dolphins

The game against Philadelphia seems to be a distant memory at this point as the Steelers continue to look like the Super Bowl contender we expected at the start of the season.  Miami, on the other hand, continues to be a mess.  The dynamic Pittsburgh offense gets in the end zone early and often in this contest as Jabba is going with the road team for the big win.

PITTSBURGH 30 MIAMI 13

San Francisco 49ers at Buffalo Bills

The 49ers made a very unsurprising move this week by naming Colin Kaepernick the starter for this week’s game against the suddenly hot Buffalo Bills.  Kaepernick would seem to be the perfect quarterback for Chip Kelly’s offense, but so many questions remain.  Like, how do you spell Kaepernick? Ha ha ha, ho ho ho.  “What is this? Jabba has a sense of humor?” Yes! I love to laugh.  I actually own the entire library of Law & Order TV shows, including all the spin-offs.  So…I like Buffalo to continue their hot streak and win at home.

BUFFALO 27 SAN FRANCISCO 17

Atlanta Falcons at Seattle Seahawks

Two really good teams.  Offense versus defense.  Loud stadium.  Mentor versus protege.  Dan Quinn, in his second year as Falcons’ coach is building something special in Atlanta.  Just like his former boss, the guy who coaches the Seahawks, has built in Seattle.  I’m still concerned with Seattle’s offense and their ability to be consistently effective.  I like Atlanta to finish their brutal two-game road trip with a win over the Seahawks.

ATLANTA 20 SEATTLE 16

Dallas Cowboys at Green Bay Packers

This will be the Cowboys’ first trip to Lambeau Field since the infamous “no-catch” call in the playoffs a couple years ago.  While Green Bay has struggled to get their offense humming this season, their defense has been solid. Same with the Cowboys.  The difference in this game will be Aaron Rodgers versus the (impressive) rookie Dak Prescott.  Rodgers will make just enough plays to help the Packers pull this game out on a late field goal.

GREEN BAY 24 DALLAS 22

And now, for those of you who have been following by battle with Pizza Hut pizza company, I wanted to share with you the strongly-worded letter I sent to Pizza Hut pizza company this week.  I think this give you an idea of what I’ve been dealing with.

 

Ms. Bambi Guererro

Manager

Pizza Hut Pizza Company Chain

21342 Saint Andrews Blvd. #250

Boca Raton, FL 33433

 

Dear Pizza Hut Person,

I am writing you a letter because I’m getting pretty angry about the fact that the United States Postal Service continues to mix up our mail.  I get a shit-ton of your mail each week and I’m guessing you get a lot of mine. LOL!

By the way, are you a girl or a boy? You’re name is Bambi, which seems like a girl’s name, but in the movie “Bambi”, Bambi was a boy.  I guess it doesn’t really matter, just curious.  Jabba’s getting off track! Ha ha ha ho ho ho!

This mail mix up may not be a big deal to you, but it is to me.  I recently missed an important invoice from a vendor, which made me late on my payment.  Now I have to pay for all merchandise up front! 

I would like to suggest you consider changing the name of your business.  I would change my name, but my legal, birth-given name is Jabba The Hutt.  Seems odd I would have to make that kind of sacrifice as I am a real-life person and you are a company.

To help you with this process, I’ve included some suggestions below.  At this point, we’re just spit-balling some ideas.  I’m sure your fancy marketing people can workshop these a bit to fine tune them.  It’s just a jumping off point, but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by what you see…

– Pizza House

-The Pizza House

-Pizza Garage (a personal favorite of mine)

-Pizza Tub

-Pizza Fort

-Fort Pizza (kind of a ‘switch-em-up’ on the last one)

-The Pizza Club

-Business That Sells Pizza

-Small Grass Dwelling Pizza Place (maintains essence of “hut”)

-Pizza Office

– Boba’s Pizza Palace (let that asshole deal with some of the mail issues I’ve been living with! LOL!!)

Again, these are just suggestions.  Any name change will do as long as you remove the word “Hut” from yourname.  I appreciate you taking this into consideration and wait patiently for your reply.  

Regards,

Jabba The Hutt

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Jabba The Hutt Predicts Football Games- Week 5

Oct. 07 Sports no comments
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Jabba The Hutt Predicts Football Games Week 5

Last Week- 2 – 2

Season- 5 – 7

I’m Jabba The Hutt.  You may know me best for my appearance in several Star Wars Movies films.  But my friends know me as basically a chilled-out dude who enjoys spending a Sunday in the Fall watching football and eating deep fried calamari.

I have received a lot of emails this week from readers who expressed empathy regarding my traumatic experience in the Chili’s restroom a couple weeks ago.  Apparently I’m not the only person who has found himself in such a predicament.  One reader told me of a website/petition designed to bring attention to this matter and force Chili’s to double the size of their restrooms.  If you’re interested in supporting this worthwhile effort, please visit http://www.myassgotstuckinachilisbathroomformultipledayspleaseexpandthesizeofyourrestroomsasap.com.

“What?! Jabba The Hutt is an activist who cares about his community so much he took the time to paste a link into his weekly column?” Yes, he did.  I’m not all about illegal and illicit activities.  I’m just a completely normal dude who is as comfortable eating Kit Kat candy bars and watching “Dancing With The Stars” as he is drinking a Fanta soda and eating nachos while eating Spaghetti Carbonara.  Get over it.

Here are your sure-fire picks of the week…

Chicago Bears at Indianapolis Colts

Neither team is off to the start they were hoping for but you get a good quarterback playing at home against a porous defense, you know I’m going to jump all over that action.  Andrew Luck is going to throw for 300+ yards and three touchdowns as the Colts roll against what may arguably be the worst team in the NFL this season.

INDIANAPOLIS 30 CHICAGO 16

I had some guests over to watch the NFL football games at my palace last week.  I felt a little unprepared to host company but still wanted to do the right thing and provide refreshments for my guests.  I set out a plate of Oreo cookies.  Okay, no problem there.  But, for some reason that I can’t explain, when a guest commented on the cookies, I told him they were homemade.  Soon, everyone at the party was raving about my homemade Oreo cookies.  I felt kind of bad about it.  Now, everyone wants the recipe.  If you have a good recipe for homemade Oreo cookies, please send it to me.

New England Patriots at Cleveland Browns

The Patriots managed to survive the Brady-less start to the season by compiling a 3 – 1 record.  And now, one of the best quarterbacks in the history of the NFL returns.  On the road.  In Cleveland.  With a chip on his shoulder. Brady will play the rest of the season like he has something to prove.  I pity the Browns this week.

NEW ENGLAND 34 THE CLEVE 17

Also during last week’s viewing party at my palace, a guest approached me during the afternoon games and told me they had a headache.  I retrieved some Ibuprofen and gave them a couple.  I told them to take them to relieve the headache.  They asked me if it would work.  For some unexplained reason I told them “they should work, I made that batch myself.” Sure enough, by the end of the day, everyone at the party was asking about my homemade Ibuprofen.  I’m not sure why I felt a compulsion to lie about this.  Again, if you happen to have an old family recipe lying around for Ibuprofen, please send it my way.

Atlanta Falcons at Denver Broncos

The league’s hottest offense faces the league’s toughest defense.  As much as people enjoy high-flying offense and think it is somehow the key to winning, the defending Super Bowl champions know otherwise.  Defense trumps offense almost every time.  This will be no different.  Denver’s offense might not be much to write about, but their high-pressure defense will give Matt Ryan fits all day as Denver moves to 5 – 0.

DENVER 22 ATLANTA 20

I’m not sure why I sometimes feel the need to lie to people about my accomplishments.  My therapist says it’s a result of an overwhelming need to be liked and impress people.  “What’s that?! Jabba The Hutt has insecurities about being liked? But I thought he was just a large, blob-like creature who fed his enemies to his pet sarlacc at the Great Pit of Carkoon?” Wrong! Well, technically, that last part is correct.  But most of the time, I’m just this fun, spontaneous, normal guy who likes trying on gloves at the mall or getting Slurpees on a hot summer day and hanging at Radio Shack for an afternoon.

But the worst part about last week’s NFL viewing party came during the Sunday night game.  Several guests commented on the quality of my giant 90″ HD TV and how they didn’t recall seeing such a clear, vivid image before.  For some reason that I still don’t understand, I mentioned that I made the TV myself.  From scratch.  From some odds and ends lying around my palace.  It’s all people could talk about the rest of the evening.  How impressed they were at Jabba’s homemade HD TV.  A few of them asked me if I could make one for them.  So, if you have instructions on how to make a 90″ HD TV from scrap material that might be found at a large palace, please email to me.

And now for my final pick of the week…

San Diego Chargers at Oakland Raiders

Don’t look now but the Oakland Raiders appear to be serious playoff contenders.  Not that this is a big surprise as many experts picked the Raiders as a team to watch this season.  Their young core of players on both sides of the ball are living up to expectations.  San Diego continues to find ways to lose.  This game will not be any different.  The home team wins and the Raiders will find themselves at 4 – 1 after five weeks.

OAKLAND 38 SAN DIEGO 34

 

 

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Jabba The Hutt Picks Football Games- Week 2

Sep. 16 Sports no comments
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Jabba The Hutt Predicts Football Games Week 2

Last Week- 1 – 3

Season- 1 – 3

I’m Jabba The Hutt.  You may know me best for my appearance in several Star Wars Movies films.  But my friends know me as basically a chilled-out dude who enjoys spending a Sunday in the Fall watching football and eating chicken wings.

Last week was not kind to Jabba The Hutt.  For the record, I’m totally cool with people just calling me “Jabba”.  Adding “The Hutt” seems a big formal and even, dare I say, tedious? See? I really am just this totally chill, laid back dude.

So, it’s time for Jabba to get well this week.  Here are your sure-fire picks of the week…

Kansas City Chiefs at Houston Texans

Both teams looked pretty good at times last week.  I’m going with the home team in this one because I think the teams are evenly matched and if that’s the case, Jabba always goes with the home team.

HOUSTON 23  KANSAS CITY 21

Last Tuesday I had coffee with my friend Amanaman at this cozy, fun little coffee shop in the Modarian System.  “What?!! Jabba The Hutt has coffee with friends at cozy, fun little coffee shops???!!!” Yes, he does.  Because he is a low-key, down-to-earth kind of guy.  Just a regular dude who is just as comfortable snapping towels in the locker room as he is sipping craft beers on a yacht.  He’s not an ogre, douchebag.

New Orleans Saints at New York Giants

Two powerful offenses and two questionable defenses.  Jabba smells high-scoring affair! Although, that could just be Hermi Odle I smell.  Haha! Hoho! Jabba is kidding about that, but you know what I mean!

I think the Giants defense has improved and that will be enough to pull out the victory and go to 2 – 0.

NEW YORK 39  NEW ORLEANS 34

Have I ever told you guys about my on-going legal dispute with Pizza Hut? I may not have time to go into it completely here, but…let’s just say it’s getting ugly.  For nearly 35 years I’ve been getting their mail and they have been getting mine.  I make one simple request for them to change their name and they refuse! I even gave them some cool suggestions.  Like, “Pizza Garage”, “Pizza Yurt”, “Pizza Industrial Complex” and many, many more.  They are a bunch of assholes.  But, I digress…

Dallas Cowboys at Washington Redskins

Both teams struggled last week.  I think the rookie Elliott goes for big yards on the ground, but it won’t be enough to beat an underwhelming, yet talented, Washington squad looking to make amends for their Monday night performance.

WASHINGTON 20 DALLAS 16

Of course Pizza Hut said I should have to change MY name! My LEGAL name.  I was born with that name.  They made their name up to sell a few pizzas.  And technically, they aren’t even a hut.  Most of their franchises are in strip malls or small, modular buildings.  Have these motherfuckers ever seen a hut? How about “Pizza Small, Non-Descript Building”? At least that’s more accurate.

Anyways, I have to go to court next week because we’re filing a new injunction.  “Oh, wait a second! Jabba The Hutt knows big fancy legal words like ‘injunction’?” Yes he does! Like why would that even be a surprise? I’ve got my shit together.  Jabba The Hutt is a cool, laid-back dude that has his shit together.  Alright, my last pick for the week…

Green Bay Packers at Minnesota Vikings 

Both teams survived close games against less-talented AFC South teams on the road last week. Vikings got a lot of help from their defense.  Aaron Rodgers doesn’t make a lot of mistakes.  Close game will come down to final play, but I like the road team in this one.

GREEN BAY 27 MINNESOTA 24

 

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