Tag: dee collins

Buy My Screenplay ‘Moneyball II: Battle For The Universe’

Oct. 20 Classified, Living no comments
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money ball space front page

 

This advertorial does not necessarily reflect the views of Coma News Daily.

ADVERTORIAL

My Amazing Screenplay

I’m Dee Collins and all I do is sit around and pump out the most amazing screenplays of all time and then try to sell them through traditional classified advertising methods.  Read my ad below and contact me to buy my screenplay!

I recently completed a screenplay titled ‘Moneyball II: Battle For The Universe’ and it’s a sequel to the sci-fi hit, ‘Moneyball’.  Brad Pitt and that other guy return in this action-packed, sure-fire box office hit.

Below is a short synopsis.  If you like it and would like to buy it, please let me know.

If you act now, I’ll also throw in a set of extremely rare, hand-made baseball cards featuring some of the games best players like that player from Baltimore and that guy who plays for the Toronto Blue Jays.

SYNOPSIS

In the not-so-distant future, former Oakland Athletics General Manager, and part-time astronaut, Brad Pitt and his trusty sidekick, INSERT NAME, are sent into space to find a cure for cancer and discover rich minerals on far-off planets.  But little do they know there is a war going on that threatens to destroy the entire universe.  Our heroes must act fast to stop a ruthless and power-hungry alien race before it’s too late.  

The perfect film for people that are interested in disease research, mining, space, baseball, aliens and fun!

Here’s a sample scene:

EXT. DISTANT PLANET- DAY

Brad Pitt and his Co-Star are standing in the middle of a rocky, craggily desert on some planet in the middle of space. Brad is bent over picking up rocks.  His Co-Star is doing the same thing.  They’re just picking up rocks, looking at them and then tossing them aside.  On the horizon, we can see three suns setting.  It looks really cool.

                              BRAD PITT

Did you find a cure for cancer under any of those rocks?

                              CO-STAR

Nope.  But I haven’t checked all of them yet.

                              BRAD PITT

Well keep looking.

                              CO-STAR

Okay.

The two men keep picking up rocks and looking at them.  In the distance, we see a creepy, scary-looking alien holding a slick little semi-automatic handgun approaching.  Our heroes don’t notice.  They are too busy looking at the rocks.

                              BRAD PITT

What about rare minerals?  Did you find any rare minerals yet?

                              CO-STAR

Not yet.  I’m still looking for a cure for cancer.  Should I be looking for both at the same time?

                              BRAD PITT

I think so.

                              CO-STAR

Okay, but that’s going to take twice as long now.

                              BRAD PITT

Okay.

The alien gets closer and closer until…

That’s all you get for now!  Want to read the whole thing?  Hit me up on electronic mail.

Dee Collins

townofcoma@hotmail.com

money ball in space

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Local Author’s Latest Explores Accidental Monkey Meat Consumption

Aug. 17 Living no comments
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by Coma News Daily Staff

Coma children’s author Dee Collins’ latest effort is scheduled to hit bookstores next week and the accomplished writer thinks this may be her best offering yet.  Titled “Dinah Accidentally Eats A Monkey Hand,” the book tells the story of a young woman’s experience after consuming raw monkey meat during a lunch date.

monkey hand cover

“I wanted readers to take a journey with me to a world of food-borne illness,” Collins said of her latest work.  “I think people will be able to relate because this is something that could happen to anyone.”

Collins wastes little time setting the scene and jumping in to the cautionary tale.  By page three, the protagonist is already seated in the restaurant and preparing to enjoy a freshly-made salad.  Dinah, however, is preoccupied with friendly convesation and fails to see the severed monkey hand laying on her plate surrounded by an assortment of greens.

monkey hand 1

After ingesting the adult-monkey hand, Dinah begins to almost immediately feel the effects of food poisoning.  The last 14 pages of the book document her transition from healthy and vibrant to violently ill and completely incapacitated.

“My hope is that children will learn to be suspicious of the food that is on their plate, especially salads or even puddings,” Collins said.  “It takes less than four minutes to completely inventory the items in a salad and avoid eating something you shouldn’t.  That is the lesson in this story.”

monkey hand 2

While Dinah’s condition continues to deteriorate throughout the book, the tension continues to build as readers are left to wonder whether the 23-year-old economics major will survive her horrific ordeal.  While the ending is predictable on some levels, it does ultimately satisfy the reader’s appetite.  The same cannot be said for consuming raw monkey meat.

“Dinah Accidentally Eats A Monkey Hand” will be available at local bookstores on August 11.

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Believing is Seeing (Fashion)

Jun. 22 Living no comments
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By Coma News Staff

The first -ever Coma Outdoor Camouflage Children’s and Animal Fashion Show was an under-the radar success, according to organizers.

The show, which featured more than 25 models and 40 designs, launched a new fashion line for children and pets by Dee Collins, a longtime Coma resident.

“I guess the fashions were good,” Dr. Jimmy, a Coma physician, said of the nearly 90 minute program. “There was a lot of movement and noises up around the stage and then people started clapping a lot.”

Collins, who worked on the fashion line as a side project to her successful screenwriting career, said she was thrilled with the turnout and the response her designs received from onlookers.

“They seemed to like what they could see,” Collins said.  “A few times, I had to stand near a model and point, and a few times they applauded when there was no model on stage, but overall I think it was a huge success.”

 

wilderness backdrop

Above: several models show off Collins’ new line of camouflage fashion.

 

Some attendees had a different opinion.

“It was like a scene from Predator,” said Jax Owen, a used car salesman and politician. “There was this blurry movement and the sound of an animal or a baby shrieking, but with the trees and bushes it was really hard to make heads or tails of anything. I’m not ashamed to admit I was kind of scared there for a while.”

The line, which Collins calls “Surviving In the Woods With Style; Fall Collection” will go on sale next week at the Coma Landmine Tours and Museum gift shop.

“It’s clothing that says ‘Yes, I’m a pet or child who wants to hide from prey or predators but I also want people to see I have a keen fashion sense,'” she said.

 

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Local Woman Struggles to Sell Homemade Baseball Card Collection

Jun. 03 Sports no comments
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By Coma News Staff

Coma self proclaimed screenwriter and artist, Dee Collins, revealed this week that despite her best efforts, sales for her homemade baseball card collection have been “meager” at best.  Collins began making the cards in her spare time nearly three years ago to assemble one of the most impressive card collections in the region while generating additional income through sales.

“Whoever said ‘the easiest path to making millions is to create homemade baseball cards’ was full of it,” Collins said.

Collins said she was surprised her hand-crafted cards have not sold considering each card is a “one-of-a-kind collectible”.

bbcard pujols

Above: This rare Albert Pujols card was created by Collins shortly after the all-star first baseman signed with the Angels last year

Collins first sale to Micah Horncraft of Coma fell apart at the last minute.

“None of the cards feature a holographic watermark that changes colors,” Horncraft said.  “I only purchase authentic Fleer or Upper Deck cards because they have higher re-sell values.”

bbcard oakland pitcher

Above: Card for an unidentified Oakland A’s pitcher. Collins said she couldn’t remember who it was supposed to be but thinks it could apply to most of the pitchers on the Athletics’ staff

Collins, who in her mind is an accomplished writer, has completed nearly one-thousand screenplays and said she will likely try to bundle the cards with her screenplays to create additional value.

“I’m working on screenplay sequels to ‘Field of Dreams‘ and ‘The Natural,” Collins said.  “Actually, I’m also working on a sequel to ‘Moneyball‘, which takes place in outer space and a prequel to ‘Eight Men Out.'”

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Gone, Rabbit, Gone

Mar. 25 Living no comments
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sean penn eats a rabbit cover

by Coma News Staff

Coma author Dee Collins released her children’s book this week at the Coma Library. “Sean Penn Eats a Rabbit,” is a whimsical tale of the popular actor’s struggle to survive in the wilderness.

“I believe a lot of children think about how celebrities would eat wild animals if they were lost in the woods,” Collins said.  “How would they prepare the meat?  Would they use utensils?  ‘Sean Penn Eats a Rabbit’ answers all of these questions.”

Collins, who has completed nearly 1,000 screenplays and more than 15 children’s books, said the book was inspired by a personal ordeal in which she was lost in the woods for two hours with only a sleeve of Fig Newton cookies to eat.

sean penn eats a rabbit pg 1

“I was terrified,” Collins said.  “I realized that a lot of children get lost in the woods so I think this book can also be a survival guide for them.  They don’t have to be scared about going hungry.  They can just find a rabbit and eat it.”

Collins selected the award-winning actor to be her protagonist because in her opinion he was one of the few actors who could eat a raw rabbit if necessary.

sean penn eats a rabbit pg 5

No adult or child in Coma attended the event, although all were invited. The two rabbits who attended were brought by the author.

Dr. Jimmy, Coma Physician and Dee’s ex husband was one of the people who chose not to attend. “Dee is a very creative person.” said Dr. Jimmy. “I think it’s pretty clear she has rabbit issues.”

 

 

 

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Local Author’s Latest Book Explores Reading

Nov. 20 Living no comments
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By Coma News Staff

Coma author Dee Collins celebrated the release of her latest children’s book this week at a book signing at the Coma Post Office. Titled “Boy with Ham Hands Reads Harry Potter,” the book tells the story of Owen as he reads a Harry Potter book over the course of an afternoon.

Owenbook1 publish

According to Collins, the book has a message for children of all ages.

 

“I think a lot of people are afraid to read because it’s sort of this strange, mysterious thing,” the author and founding member of the ‘Coma Players’ said. “I wanted to write a book that demonstrates that reading is actually not very mysterious and anyone can do it.”

 

In the book, Owen finds himself alone on a rainy afternoon. The young boy tries to watch TV but his ham-hands prevent him from using the remote control. The boy tries to text and use his iPhone but his ham hands impede him from texting or snapchatting.  Frustrated, he picks up a Harry Potter book and begins reading it. The final 46 pages of the children’s book show Owen sitting in different positions on his couch reading.

owenbook2 publish

At one point, Owen gets hungry and decides to make a snack. After not being able to find anything suitable, the boy begins to devour his own ham-hands.

 

Some early reviews posted on the author’s website have been less-than-flattering to Collins’ latest effort. According to a review by Coma resident, Bob Smith-Smith, the book “bleeds misplaced sentimentality for a by-gone era.” Plus, Smith-Smith says, it’s “extremely tedious.”

 

“There are more than 40 pages that simply states any minor adjustment this kid makes on the couch,” Smith-Smith said in his review. “And don’t even get me started on the macabre nature of him eating his own hands.”

 

Collins said criticism comes with the territory but she is confident children will take to the book because of the painstaking detail and realism.

 

“When you finish reading this book you will feel like you spent an entire afternoon on the couch reading a Harry Potter book and eating your own hands,” Collins said. “What could be better than that to teach the love of reading versus using electronic devices?”

 

“Boy with Ham Hands Reads Harry Potter” goes on sale next Tuesday at Bob’s Grocery store next to the ipod section.

 

 

 

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Coma Artist Sells Collectible World Cup Illustrations

Jun. 24 Sports no comments
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By Coma News Staff

Inspired by the recent soccer match between the United States and Portugal, which resulted in a draw for the Americans, Coma artist and writer, Dee Collins, announced this week she will release a series of collectible illustrations to commemorate the 2014 World Cup.

Entitled “Soccer In A Series of Hand-Drawn Illustrations: Snapshots of the Greatest Moments of the World Cup Soccer Tournament in Brazil in 2014 by Dee Collins,“ the first piece in the collection will be released today and features American Clint Dempsey celebrating a goal in the match versus Portugal.

usa v portugal

Collins captured the magic from the United States’ recent match against Portugal in this stunning illustration. The series will be available to purchase later this week.

“Photographs fail to capture the essence of the moment,” Collins said.  “An artist’s brush can immortalize a moment like no other medium.”

Collins said prints would be available in full-color 8.5″ x 11″ copies or black and white copies for a reduced price.  While she has not yet set a price for the work, Collins said she hoped to keep it affordable.

“I can’t see these pieces selling for more than eighty or ninety dollars each,” Collins said.  “We’ll see where the demand is on the pre-orders and go from there.  My hope is children young and old will be able to afford one or two in the series and cherish them for a lifetime.”

Collins said that while she is not necessarily a soccer fan, she has watched several highlights of this year’s World Cup and saw photos on popular news websites like CNN and Yahoo.  Additional illustrations in the series will be unveiled weekly until the tournament wraps up in July.

 

 

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