by Coma News Staff
Mayor Dave Anderson confided to reporters this week that he has grown weary of his reputation as the “Monkey Puncher” following an unfortunate incident he was involved in nearly 12 years ago.
Anderson, often speaking in hushed tones, said he feared he would “never live down” a nickname and reputation born on what he called a “disastrous” day more than a decade ago.
“I mean, apparently, you punch a monkey in the face one time and…you know…you get a reputation as a guy who goes around punching monkeys in the face,” Anderson said.
It was a rare moment for the mayor, who has been described in the past as guarded, aloof and even apathetic. Anderson shared details of the “disastrous” day for the first time publicly.
According to Anderson, he and some friends had just finished having lunch at Mike’s Pig Meat Restaurant when the restaurant’s owner, Mike Holliman, invited Anderson and his party out back to see a pet monkey one of Holliman’s friends brought with him.
“We were just looking at this monkey and it was kind of just bouncing around a little bit,” Anderson said. “And then it looked at me and spit in my face.”
Anderson said his friends laughed at the incident. At first, Anderson thought that while it was incredibly rude, it was a “little funny.”
But Anderson said things took a turn for the worst when the monkey began to mock him incessantly. At one point, the monkey pointed to Anderson, then plugged its nose and made a “stinky face”. Next, the monkey pointed to its buttocks, then to Anderson and then plugged its nose again.
“I’ve never been a big bathroom humor guy,” Anderson said. “So, strike one, monkey. I mean, first of all I didn’t smell like his butt. I’m sure of that. It’s just not very original.”
According to Anderson, the monkey continued to mock him. At one point, the monkey pointed at Anderson and then began to walk around, pushing its belly forward and kind of stumbling as it ambled down the sidewalk before pointing again at Anderson to suggest the Mayor was overweight and walked in an unusual manner.
“That was it for me,” Anderson said. “Everyone was laughing like it was real funny but it was derivative at best and completely inaccurate.”
Anderson said he punched the monkey square in the mouth, bloodying the animal’s lip and making its eyes water. The animal scurried quickly to its owner and hid behind his leg, trembling in fear.
“And somehow, I became the bad guy,” Anderson told reporters. “I get humiliated in front of my friends, try to defend my honor and at the end of the day, I’m the bad guy. Explain that to me. Please! Because I still don’t understand it.”
Soon after the incident, Anderson began hearing references to himself as the “monkey puncher.” It is a nickname that has stuck with him through more than three terms in office.
“Maybe one day people will forget that I punched a monkey in the face and knocked out two of its teeth,” Anderson said. “But people just love to focus on negative things.”