Construction Crew Breaks Ground to Reverse One-Way Street

By Coma News Staff


Traveling north through downtown Coma should be a smoother affair by October. That’s when town workers expect to complete construction to reverse the town’s only one-way street.

Massive traffic delays near Lane Street Blvd have many wondering if it was necessary to rip up the street just to put in the same street going in the other direction.

Bidirectional One Way Street Sign

Concerned motorists weren’t sure which direction to travel on Thursdays.

“It was impossible to have new paint and signs delivered to our office at the opposite end of the one-way street entrance. It also came to a dead-end, which we aim to fix. Because nobody could get out.” explained Chase Donovan, former Coma News Intern and now Assistant Social Media Manager of Public Works.

“We tried to have the one-way street run Northbound on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and Southbound on Tuesday and Weekends, but motorists didn’t know what to do on Thursdays.” Coma Mayor Dave Anderson added, “This grave mistake was overlooked by the Coma Town Council. At least the Punctuated Stop Signs were an honest blunder. ”

Locals may recall transportation officials christened the street Lane Street Blvd in honor of Lane Street, a construction worker who was tragically buried beneath the asphalt during the initial North to South project. Mr. Street was discovered alive and well by children playing hopscotch in the middle of rush hour traffic. The surprisingly upbeat Lane had been trying to escape from the caverns of Coma’s long lost underground railroad by burrowing out, but construction workers kept accidentally pushing him back in and fixing the potholes.

Unfortunately, current plans for the Southbound reversal do not call for the rescue of Mr. Street. Canned goods are still welcome and can be donated to Lane, along with peanut M&M’s and material for him to smoke through his badger pipe, through a small hole in the street.

To add personality to the project, art students at Coma Elementary have been commissioned to paint the pavement markings on the roadway after construction is completed and the road is re-opened to vehicles traveling at least 45mph.

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