This Letter to Santa Claus does not necessarily reflect the views of Coma News Daily however we do believe that it’s never too early to start thinking about the Holiday Season.
I’m Coma Mayor Dave Anderson and this is my letter to Santa Claus…
Dear Santa Claus,
Hope you’re staying warm (ha ha! Just kidding. From what I understand it’s always cold in the north pole. I bet that gets old after a while. Or should I say I bet that gets “cold” after a while. Ha ha ha, again. One thing you’ll learn about me Santa is that I enjoy lacing amusing observations throughout letters and wish lists).
Anyway, below is my Christmas wish list.
I should state for the record that I’m a fully-grown adult male. In fact, I’m the mayor of a small town. Can you believe that? I used to be a stand-up comedian and even opened one time for a comedian who once toured with a guy who opened for Dave Atell!
Okay, for real now, here is my wish list…
One- Like everybody else, I’d like peace on the earth and stuff like that, let me get that out there right away because I don’t want you to think I’m selfish or so ego-centric that I don’t recognize that there are countries in the earth that are having conflict in places like…in places all over the planet. I mean, there are too many to name really.
Second- I would like a new life. Ha ha ha ha all over the place Santa! I’m just kidding. Remember when I told you I enjoy lacing amusing observations throughout letters and wish lists, well, this is an example of that. Actually, I don’t have a second item for my wish list. But I do have a third item…
My Christmas wish is that the spirit of Christmas not be confined to just one day every year, but be embraced and cherished every day throughout the year. That the joy of the holidays be imbibed by everyone, everywhere every day.
And finally, just because I don’t believe you can deliver on either of my first two wishes, and that’s not a shot at you, but let’s face it, that’s a tall order for anybody, I feel like I should include a “safety” request on my wish list so I don’t wake up on Christmas morning empty handed.
So, in case you can’t really make the earth peace or Christmas spirit things happen, I’d be happy with a modestly priced wrist watch. Nothing fancy (but would prefer it not be a Casio).
Mayor of Coma