Tag: health

Support Group For Rare Photogenic Disorder Offers Hope to Many

by Coma News Staff

Micah Horncraft decided enough was enough. After years of having his photo taken and being constantly disappointed in the results, Horncraft thought there had to be a better way. Horncraft deals with a rare condition known as Startled Retentive Photogenic Disorder, or SRPD for short.

Like others who suffer from SRPD, things like selfies and photos at family get togethers can cause anxiety and stress.

“I look incredibly surprised in every photo,” Horncraft said. “I realize my picture is being taken. I am looking at the camera when it happens. And yet, my photos always make me look like I’m totally caught off guard.”

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ABOVE: Horncraft (far right), mingles with other SRPD survivors at a recent support group meeting

Horncraft has started a support group for those who suffer from SRPD. The group recently held their second meeting that attracted more than a dozen participants who shared stories about their experiences in living with this rare condition.

According to local physician, Dr. Jimmy, SRPD can strike at any age, last for many years and cause debilitating side effects.

Some of those side effects include a reluctance to be photographed, some light-to-nonexistent anxiety regarding cameras or smartphones and a “constant” surprise at seeing how startled you look in every photograph.

“There is a saying in the SRPD community,” Dr. Jimmy said. “We may look shocked, but we’re likely just mildly surprised. Treat us like other humans.”

Horncraft, who has battled SRPD for nearly five years, said he decided to start the support group because he was tired of being the “most surprised-looking guy in every photo.”

“There had to be other people that deal with this disorder,” Horncraft said. “I thought it would be good to get together. If you take pictures of us together, it might not look so unusual. Maybe people would think we were just told the world is ending in five minutes or something. You never know.”

Horncraft first began to notice symptoms of SRPD following a family reunion in 2011. As he looked through photographs of the event he realized he appeared somewhat confused or slightly bewildered in every photo.

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ABOVE: Horncraft (far left) first discovered the severity of his condition at a friend’s wedding in 2011

“That’s how it starts,” Dr. Jimmy said. “The early stages of SRPD generally include a confused expression. It looks like the subject doesn’t quite understand the technology or the concept of photography.”

It was in the fall of 2011 that Horncraft’s condition took a dramatic turn. As a member of a friend’s wedding party, Horncraft was repeatedly photographed throughout the day. The wedding photographer pulled him aside at one point and asked him if everything was all right. The photographer then shared many of the photos with Horncraft, who was shocked to see his repeatedly shocked expression.

“I think I’m smiling in the photos,” Horncraft said. “Like, I realize they are taking my picture. I think I’m presenting a normal expression, but I’m not.”

Horncraft said he has learned to live with the condition and has made some improvements. With precise and severe concentration, he can maintain a “mildly confused” look in most photographs. But relapses still occur and Horncraft is hopeful the SRPD support group can help each other living with the rare condition.

“My hope is that by sharing stories and photos of our experiences we can help each other to live normal lives,” Horncraft said. “Ultimately, we just want to be treated like normal people and not be cropped out of every Facebook post.”

The SRPD support group meets every Tuesday at 7 p.m. at the Coma Community Center.

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ABOVE: A group of SRPD survivors gather at a recent support group meeting. Horncraft said he hopes the meetings will offer hope to the many people afflicted with the rare condition

When Should You Seek Treatment After Being Impaled?

By Coma Physician Dr. Jimmy

Recently, a local man was impaled by a shovel and refused to seek immediate medical attention. After speaking at length with him and with many others in the days following the ordeal, I’ve come to realize that most people don’t realize how serious impalement injuries can be.

From my own unscientific poll of neighbors and friends, I found that most would not consider being impaled a “serious injury.” As a medical professional, this was a startling revelation.

Sure, some impaling injuries are less serious than others. And sure, sometimes you get impaled and can probably just brush it off, pull it out and move on with your day. But, many times that is not the case and you should seek immediate medical attention.

As a service to the community, I’ve put together an impaling “cheat sheet” to help identify the degrees of impalement injuries and determine when you should go to a doctor.

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ABOVE: Dr. Jimmy’s guide to impaling injuries is designed to take the guess work out of determining when to seek medical attention

Of course, this chart is not comprehensive. It would be impossible to include every item you could potentially be impaled with. It does represent what I believe are likely the most common objects one could be impaled with, along with representative object (wicker chair, for example, could apply to any type of furniture).

So how do you use this guide? It’s pretty simple. First, let’s say you’ve been impaled by something. You’ll want to identify the object and then refer to the guide above. If you can’t find the exact object, try to find the object that is most similar to the one that is buried deep in your flesh. Next, using the color scale, determine whether “it’s cool” or whether you should “seek immediate attention.”

Should you find yourself somewhere in the middle, my advice is to do a quick Google search and go from there.

I am hopeful that this tool can help you and our community be better prepared for impalement injuries. Be safe and be diligent! When in doubt refer to this simple-to-use chart. Godspeed.

 

 

Artifacts: Prospector Head

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Physician To Open Coma’s First Medieval Medical Practice

by Coma News Daily Staff

Citing an “epic quest” to return to medicine’s roots, Coma physician Dr. Jimmy announced this week his plans to open the town’s first medieval medical practice this spring.

“Sometimes the old ways are the best ways,” Dr. Jimmy said. “People are hungry for alternative forms of traditional medicine. My new practice will provide a real alternative while still being soundly based in western medicine practices that go back hundreds of years.”

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The new practice, which Dr. Jimmy said will be called “Thine Leeching Post & Acupuncture,” will feature not only popular medieval medical services, like bloodletting and trepanning, but a full-breadth of long-forgotten procedures and practices to keep patients healthy.

“We’re way beyond simple leeching and drilling holes in people’s heads,” Dr. Jimmy said.  “We will be the first place people think of when they hear popular terms like boar-bile enemas, hot-iron hemorrhoid treatment and medical astrology.”

Dr. Jimmy said the new practice has been in the works for nearly a decade and is the culmination of a life-long dream. The transition from present day western medicine to the sometimes archaic practices of medieval ages was a challenge for the 40-year old physician.

“First, I had to unlearn the vast knowledge I’ve accumulated over the past 12 years,” Dr. Jimmy said. “You’re not going to find a lot of information on corpse medicine, animal dung ointments and wandering wombs at Johns Hopkins, if you know what I mean. It was a difficult process.”

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The new medical facility will feature a dungeon-like waiting room with “only the most current and popular golf, fashion and travel magazines,” along with a reception and nurse team bedecked in traditional medieval garments, robes and cloaks.

The biggest challenge Dr. Jimmy faced was from regulators and medical boards, who objected to what many call “unsafe and deadly” practices. Dr. Jimmy, however, said the traditional medical community is worried about nothing.

“Are we going to use urine as an antiseptic?” Dr. Jimmy asked rhetorically. “Yes. Are we going to give patients a brew of hemlock, opium and vinegar as an anesthetics? Yes. Guess what, that’s exactly what they did in the olden days and guess what, again? People are still around. Must not have been that bad.”

The new medical office is scheduled to open April 11 and new patients are encouraged to make appointments as soon as possible.

Ways You Could Die #2

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WAYS YOU COULD DIE #2

A 40-part series by Dr. Jimmy, Coma Physician, Divorced Father, Sometimes Goth, Weekend Raver

I am constantly asked about death.

Most people who come to visit me in my office are concerned about one thing; are they going to die?

In most cases the answer is yes, they are going to die at some point.

The reality stirs anxiety in my patients and I realized that I could help ease their concerns if I reminded them they are likely to die of heart disease or cancer and not from some terrible, horrific accident.

I’ve created a series of graphic descriptions on the many manners of death a person is not likely to die.

This series has been therapeutic to my patients and I’m hoping it will help you as well.

So please enjoy and remember that although the description below is plausible, you are far more likely to die from some run-of-the-mill disease or auto accident.

ANSWERING A KNIFE PHONE

It is almost a certainty that sometime in the near future, a smart phone with a knife attachment will be invented.

This will represent the culmination of thousands of years of technical evolution and will mark a high-point in human history.

No longer will people have to choose whether to carry a cellular phone OR a knife- with the new knife phone, they will have the luxury of both.

You are a creature of habit and for thousands of years, humans placed the cell phone device near their ear.

Shortly after purchasing your new knife phone, you are sitting at home preparing a delicious sheet of Totino’s Pizza Rolls.  Your mind is singularly focused on the directions located on the back of the bag.

It's really easy to make Totino's Pizza rolls.

It’s really easy to make Totino’s Pizza rolls.

Suddenly, your phone rings.  Without thinking, you grab the phone and draw it toward your ear.

It is only a matter of seconds now until you die so don’t worry.  For a moment, you have clarity and higher level understanding that you just stabbed your brain with your new knife phone.

Mmmm...limited Mexican style pizza.

Mmmm…limited Mexican style pizza.

Your last thoughts are of the delicious pan of pizza rolls that would take a longer period of time to kill you and you wish you’d lived long enough to eat them.

And then you die.

Opinion: Breakfast Not Most Important Meal of Day

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By Coma Town Physician, Dr. Jimmy

When it comes to your diet, there’s a lot of information out there on what you should or shouldn’t eat and when to eat it.

Part of my job as a physician is to help people cut through all the clutter.  I recently completed a self-funded study on the popular notion regarding breakfast being the most important meal of the day and want to take some time to share with you my findings.

BREAKFAST IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY

As it turns out, breakfast is not the most important meal of the day.  In fact, it may not even be in the top five most important meals of the day.  That being said, based on my research, I can say with certainty that breakfast IS in the top ten of most important meals of the day.

METHODOLOGY & RESULTS

My research was conducted over the course of two weeks in February of this year.  I interviewed nearly seven patients and asked them to rank for me their favorite meals.  Additionally, I thought about what meal I thought was not only my favorite, but which one I would least likely not want to miss.  The results were quite shocking.

TOP TEN MEALS OF THE DAY

Based on my research, the most important meals of the day, in order of importance, are as follows:

1. Dinner

2. Snack between breakfast and lunch

3. Lunch

4. Brunch

5. Dessert

6. Second snack between breakfast and lunch

7. Midnight snack

8. Snack as you are preparing dinner (perhaps sampling the meal you are cooking)

9. Breakfast

10. Samples served at grocery stores or Costco

While these results may surprise some, there is no denying the conclusion or the scientific method that was employed to make this discovery.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU?

Breakfast is definitely a top ten meal and you should continue to eat it when you feel like it.  But you should no longer feel as though you are a prisoner to an age-old axiom that has clearly been demonstrated as false.

Happy eating and good health to you always.  As I say to all my patients, “You can live forever if you choose.”