25 years old, awesome blogger of awesome things, all mysteries SOLVED
As Coma’s only private detective, the biggest mystery I could ever solve is how people stay married for ‘as long as they both shall live.’
This weekend My Internet friend Kanye and his amazing Kim (double K wedding) got married so I wanted to solve a mystery for them: How to stay married.
After doing a lot of Internet research I saw that most people don’t stay married. There seems to be lots of reasons why this happens including people getting too fat for their pants, Danielle Steele novels, and excessive farting. But the real marriage killer seems like stress–from raising kids, paying bills and endless commutes. I don’t know about any of these things but I might know something about stress if I think about it hard enough. (thought complete)
Since I have almost no stress. I realized ‘Marybell, you have solved the mystery of stress.’
How did this private dick (ew) stop the Big Bad Stress Monster? Three easy-to-follow steps:
1) Sleep. I never get up before 10 and usually not before noon.
2) Eat. I can overcome almost any blues with enough ice cream (usually in bed).
3) Avoid. Stay away from anyone you have arguments with. Like sometimes I don’t talk to my Dad for almost a week (unless I need money–stress!)
S-E-A, see? Mystery solved.
Me: No, but I saved everyone’s marriage, including Kim and Kanye.