The following is one in a series of intermittent excerpts from Coma residents’ blogs published by Coma News as a community service.
My dad doesn’t understand how hard it is to start a business. It takes time. You have to build a reputation. That’s why I just solved my biggest mystery yet: the history of World Cup geography.
People have been asking “Where is Ghana?” “Where is the Netherlands?” “What is a North Korea?”
Imagine we’re at a bar and my beautiful Kate Spade clutch is flanked by a ketchup bottle, vinegar (gross), a knife and a fork. Basically, my amazing embroidered clutch (America) is surrounded on all sides by sticky bar condiments (the world).
Where is North Korea? It’s west of America. Where is Ghana? It’s south of America. Where is England? Its east of America and the vinegar bottle (which they actually put on food).
Is South America south of America? Yes, but Africa also is south of America. Where is North Korea? Trick question: They don’t play soccer!
Now you understand the geography of the World Cup.
Daddy: Get a job, Marybell.
Me: No worries, Daddy. I’m a private dick (still gross). And I am a geography master.