Living Archives - Page 30 of 34

Category: Living

Coma Weekly Police Blotter

May. 29 Living no comments

May 24, 2014, 9:34 am -Shoplifting – John’s Market- A Weight Watchers volunteer was charged with shoplifting cup cakes from the bakery by putting them down her pants.

May 25, 2014, 6:12 pm- A man disguised as Zorro jumped form the bushes in front of the local McDonald’s brandishing a water gun and robbed Sadie Cracker of two children’s Happy Meals in the 3400 block of E. Market Street.

May 27, 2014, 2:11 am – Woman reported to police that she has been stalking herself on Tinder, Match.com and other dating websites, as well as LinkedIn. Caller accused herself of bullying by denying herself snacks and other chocolates in order to “look better and lose some weight.” No charges were filed.

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Wanted: Boyfriend/Husband/employer

May. 27 Living no comments

Have you ever wanted a live in girlfriend, wife, or employee but found the whole enterprise cost-prohibitive? Well fellas, have I got a deal for you.
My daughter is 5’3″, 103 lbs. and I am told of average attractiveness. I am offering–on a sliding scale–payments for any of the following scenarios:

1) you hire my daughter for work. My daughter has no practical skills but is theoretically capable of learning some.

2) you date my daughter. This option only works if you are a self motivated individual who can take care of her and get her to move out of my house. She had no practical skills.

3) you date and marry my daughter. She comes with a family-owned beach house, no cooking skills, and the ability to organize house cleaners.

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Coma Weekly FREECYCLE Digest

May. 26 Living no comments

Freecycling is when a person passes on, for free, an unwanted item to another person who needs that item. From silverware to mobile homes, people worldwide are choosing to freecycle rather than discard.

[FreecycleComa] WANTED: Furniture (will travel up to 75 miles)‏

My husband and I (and our baby dog) are closing on a house tomorrow. We are very excited, but we are coming from a one-bedroom apartment, so we lack the proper furnishings for a whole house. We need couches, a table, chairs, and bedroom furniture. We’ll transport it, of course.

We would love a sumo wrestler end table but will take any furniture you want to give away as long as it is matching and a brand like Ethan Allen.

[FreecycleComa] taken: bag of pencils some tampons

This has been taken. One person took all. None left. Please stop emailing.

This bag holds tampons and pencils. The bag and the pencils and the tampons have been taken. Stop emailing me.

[FreecycleComa] WANTED: Red hat with flaps 1950s style (Holden Caulfield)

My son needs to create a short video based on “The Catcher in the Rye” for his English class and he needs Holden’s red cap with flaps. He also needs someone to be Holden and also edit the video. Would like someone who can bring the hat and do everything else he needs.

I need a hat exactly like this one. Person should also know how to act like Holden Caufield and should be able to shoot and edit my son’s video.

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Coma Weekly Police Blotter

May. 22 Living no comments

Vandalism, Miscellaneous Property Crimes

May 17, 2014, 1:40 am- A resident called the Coma Sheriffs office at 1 a.m. to report that his patio furniture was on top of his car.

May 19, 2014, 11:11pm – A man complained to the dispatcher that someone was leaving bags of marijuana in his trashcan.

Noises

May 20, 2014, 9:34am – After a resident reported noises, a stranger in a suit and tie was found on the roof of her home.

Animals Disrupting ‘Quiet Enjoyment’

May 21, 2014, 11:34am – A family and their pets were ‘held hostage’ by a raccoon that entered the house through the doggie door.

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Advertorial: Muckracking for a Living

May. 21 Living no comments

By Coma News Staff

A new trash service aims to bring new meaning to reduce, reuse and recycle.

Robert McGuiness, a former Coma News reporter, plans to use as much of the rejected possessions and trash hauled away by his new waste removal service.

“Living off the detritus of others is something that years of reporter-level pay has well-prepared me to do,” McGuiness said. “Actually, a bunch of second hand throwaways should substantially improve my standard of living.”

For instance, McGuiness recently became a pet fish owner for the first time after a client hired him to haul away a fish tank containing Siamese Fighting Fish.

“Hopefully someone will throw away some fish food soon,” McGuiness said.

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Coma Weekly FREECYCLE Digest

May. 19 Living no comments

Freecycling is when a person passes on, for free, an unwanted item to another person who needs that item. From silverware to mobile homes, people worldwide are choosing to freecycle rather than discard.

[FreecycleComa] OFFER: box of random toys and some motor oil

Boy stuff – cars, misc. toddler and preschool level. The motor oil is used. I wasn’t sure if someone could use it again in their car. Please take it all and freecycle what you can’t use. Do not drink the motor oil.

Used motor oil can remove some carpet stains.

email with pick up time

Janine Roberts townofcoma (at) gmail.com

[FreecycleComa] offer: ping pong table, needs work

I got this ping pong table from another Freecycler a year or two ago. It saw some use (though not as much as I had hoped). The (lightweight, aluminum) base is beginning to separate from the table portion and is probably no longer sturdy enough to hold it up. At least one of the plastic wheels have bent under the weight of the table. That said, the (much heavier) regulation size ping pong table surface (two pieces) seems to still be usable.

If you want to try to fix it up or just use the table surface pieces on top of your own table, you are welcome to it.

If you can’t figure out how to make it work we’ve used the table as a skate ramp.

If you can come in the evening, I’m willing to help you lift it. With two people, it may be tough—we may want to coordinate bringing a screwdriver to take it apart. You will need a truck. Or you could just break it into small pieces and fit it in a sedan type car. Probably the best idea since the table is crappy at best at this point.

Email me with pick up time. Table will be next to the curb near the trash but it IS NOT trash.

John Livingston townofcoma (at) gmail.com

[FreecycleComa] WANTED: Rolling pin for kitchen and/or someone who can bake pies with it

If anyone has a rolling pin they no longer use (but still in usable condition), I would very much appreciate it. I am also looking for someone who knows how to bake pies and have an extra room available for the right person. I decided I would really like fresh pies but I am sick of going to the store. Thanks! Willing to travel in the near vicinity. Spare room in my apartment has it’s own private bathroom.

email me if you feel you have the right rolling pin/ personality for pie baking. Room and board is free.

Thanks, Bonnie

townofcoma(at)gmail.com

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Coma Weekly Police Blotter

May. 16 Living no comments

May 13, 2014, 8:12 pm- Sheriff Paul T. Frostnib responds to a report that a vehicle was stopping at mailboxes. Suspect was released once he was identified as the mailman.

May 14, 2014, 11:11pm – Disorderly Person- Bear’s Bear Barn: Coma Sheriff reponds to report of a giant chicken in the parking lot drinking whiskey and yelling at people as they passed by.

May 15, 2014, 9:34am – Coma Lake- Man calls the Coma Sheriff’s office to report a belligerent squirrel preventing him from using his boat dock. The caller said he understood that nothing could be done about it, but wanted the officers to know “what kind of squirrels are running around the community and hanging out at the lake” according to the Sherrif’s report.

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