A Page 3 Newspaper
The following is paid advertisement and does not reflect the views of Coma News.
I’ve been trying to get Coma News to publish a letter to the editor on my tenth anniversary of becoming an American citizen but due to certain past kerfluffles
they would only publish it if I paid for the space.
Ten years ago I became a U.S. citizen and I’m still not sure why.
Probably because I was here, not in Scotland and American chicks are generally hotter.
This ad brought to you by Big Underpants– Coma’s source for the largest underpants in America.
Oh yeah, and I wanted to report on the news. You know, real news, corruption, truth.
After doing the DC cesspool
thing I thought a small town was where a single reporter could make a real difference and I fell in love with a burlesque dancer.
of Coma News said I’d have the freedom to tell the hard truths and break open the moldy corruption at the heart of this town.
This is Coma’s best plus sized model. This ad brought to you by Big Underpants– Coma’s source for the largest underpants in America.
Coma News and I have since parted ways. And this once great newspaper has descended to knob slobbing coverage of the products of Coors, Wheats and whatever other big money John is willing to pay the freight.
Journalism shouldn’t be about money or ratings or earning living wages.
It should be about the truth and telling the stories that people need to hear, and Page 3 girls–not necessarily in that order.
Probably page 3 first then everything else.
This woman looks nothing like women alive or dead in Coma.