Pet Nudity Banned, Clothing Mandated

By Coma News Staff
Winter is not a good time to be a nudist. It turns out that the Coma Town Council agrees with that notion for both people and pets.
The Town Council banned public nudity for pet mammals during its first meeting of 2015 on Tuesday.
“There are small children being exposed to inflamed animal genitals in a growing number of locations throughout Coma,” Councilwoman Natalie Peters, said about the increasing number of businesses that allow dogs and sometimes other pets.


This dog not only looks cute but is not walking around nude anymore.

Most owners would not face the $1,000 fines for violating the pet nudity ban, Peters said, due to the growing trend of pet clothing on dogs in town.
“We wouldn’t let other members of our family walk around naked in public so why should Fido be any different?” said Peters.
The ban followed Peters’ unsuccessful 2014 campaign for the town to convey human and civil rights on pet birds.
Robert MacGuiness, a town crank, questioned why the clothing mandate should apply only to pet mammals.
“I can’t think of anything more sexual than a two-meter-long python slowly wrapping around a woman’s body,” MacGuiness said in testimony before the Council’s vote. MacGuiness went on to describe a whole series of awkwardly sensuous unclothed pets and the testimony found allies in the council. “He’s got a point about snakes.” said Councilman Jax Owen.

This snake is wearing a sweater which seems more appropriate than his usual snake skin.

This snake is wearing a sweater which seems more appropriate than his usual snake skin.

One resident who celebrated the ban was Marlee Bumgartner, who hoped for a boost to her struggling pet swimsuit clothing line.
“If I don’t sell some of these hounddog hammocks now, I never will,” Bumgartner said.

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