Editorial: A New Dawn for Coma News

davis montgomery

Editorial — Davis Montgomery, publisher of Coma News and avid horse enthusiast speaks to the future of Coma News and the Coma News Network. This editorial was brought to you by “Jax Used Cars”. It’s mule season. Bring in your mule carcass for $50 off your next car purchase.

People constantly want know what makes Davis Montgomery tick. That’s when I tell them about my classical education, love of literature and role as publisher and owner of Coma News ( a subsidiary of the Coma News Network).

In an age of rapid globalization, compressing margins and ever-evolving standards, the biggest challenge in the news industry is our inability to make money. As I told Barry, my lead thoroughbred trainer, ‘I’ve won in every industry but cannot for the life of me derive a profit from the newspaper or online ezine.’

It was in pursuit of such an improvement that I invited the Coma News staff to take the weekend off and come to my 987-acre estate in Coma’s horse country to shape the future of this town’s cutting edge source for information.

Instead of our staff writers, editors and columnists attending some indolent boozefest–as some of them had no doubt assumed–I undertook to sharpen them into a precision reporting team.

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Above:Davis Montgomery cares about news and this picture was brought to you by Coors Light Liquid Nitrogen. “It’s Super Fucking Cold.” 

Endurance swims across a pond of fresh printer’s ink gave way to spirited footchases of our news staff by mounted re-enactors of the Pony Express.

Stone chiseling, papyrus reed picking and smoke signal competitions (with but a badge of honor as the prize) occupied much of the afternoon.

The result? Well, I should hope the result will be obvious to our readers and truly beloved advertisers. The recent additions to our editorial staff will be accompanied by grand and glorious expansions in advertising, classifieds, advertorials and sponsorship for twitter posts.

So we welcome you to next and most lucrative chapter in the history of Coma News Network that is less about content and more about the bottom line and hope that you enjoy it as much as we will.

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Davis Montgomery is publisher of Coma News

This Editorial was brought to you by Jax used cars.

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