Henry Carver refuses to take shit from anyone and is at any given moment prepared to put his boot up someone’s ass.
Coma resident and part-time barber, Henry Carver, has been threatening to put his boot up the ass of an assortment of punks, nincompoops and long-hairs for nearly forty years now without actually following through with the threat.
“I’ve come close a few times,” Carver said. “Don’t think I won’t do it cause I’d just as soon insert a boot into your buttocks region as I would to look at you. Ain’t gonna take no shit from hippies or people who talk funny.”
Carver, who turns 67 this summer, estimates that he has made the threat hundreds of times over the years partly because it was an effective way to deal with people who irritated him or got in his way somehow.
“He threatened me with that about ten years ago,” accountant Gene Parks said. According to Parks, he inadvertently cut in front of Carver at a local grocery store when Carver told the young man to get out of his way or he would insert the business end of his boot into Parks’ behind.
“Let’s just say I got out of his way,” Parks added. “It’s a powerful threat and I for one don’t want to be the guy walking around with a boot, or any footwear for that matter, protruding from my backside.”
Friends of Carver said what makes the situation even more interesting is the fact that Carver rarely, if ever, wears boots.
“I don’t even think he owns a pair of boots,” Nicholas Duke said of his friend. “He stands on his feet all day cutting hair. Boots would be a poor choice in footwear.”
Carver said that while people may start to think that just because he hasn’t actually put a boot up anyone’s ass, they better be careful not to test him.
“One of them protesters come into my shop or try to get me to sign a petition or something, I’m gonna put a boot up their ass and send them on their way,” Carver added. “Just because I don’t own a boot doesn’t mean I can’t go find one somewhere and come back to wherever you are and then slip it on my foot and drive it into your poop slide. That goes for anybody who doesn’t love this country or looks like they jiggle when they walk.”
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