Washington’s professional football team has moved it’s training camp for the 2016-2017 season to the Town of Coma.
The owner of the team formerly known as the Redskins, Daniel Snyder, said that the move was a “stroke of marketing genius,” despite Coma’s distance from Washington DC.
“The Washington Snyderians have found the right mix of amenities and pliability in the Town of Coma,” Snyder said.
The move will bring to Coma for the five months of pre-season workouts the entire 52-man roster, which consists entirely of Snyder’s cloned copies. The coaching staff also are Snyder clones.
“No more will this team be held back by the involvement of those insufficiently committed to its success,” Snyder said.
Redskins starting quarterback, affectionately referred to as DS3 (Daniel Snyder III) , said he was excited about the new season.
“There will be no more distracting talk of friction between coaches, players and owners because we are all of one mind–literally, ” DS3 said.
DS3 looks to take the team to the SuperBowl in 2015.
Paying visitors to training camp also will get a sneak preview of the Tanya Snyder Experience, which replaced the Redskin’s cheerleaders. Tanya’s innovative “cheer yoga,” which is similar to standard yoga workout routine, will be recorded and displayed on holographic projectors at the four corners of the field during games.
“From a marketing standpoint, it was a no-brainer,” Snyder said.
And it appears that Snyder is not yet finished innovating. He has launched discussions with Mayor Dave Anderson on renaming Coma to Snydertown, Snydertopia, or Simply Snyder.
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