Valentine’s Box-Making Training Camp Opens

By Coma News Staff

It was not a grand opening for Sadie Cracker at the annual Valentine’s Day box-making (VBM) training camp for parents on Wednesday.

The first-day results for the mother of two elementary school-age boys  was two discarded attempts at a Valentine’s box and a third torn to shreds in frustration.

“Last year, I swore on everything holy that this was the year my boys would have great boxes to hold the Valentine’s Day cards they get in class,” Cracker said. “But there’s still a lot of camp left to turn this around before game day.”

Cracker was the early favorite to win this year’s top box-making honors among Coma parents, due to her extensive off-season smack talking that got her suspended from the town’s Facebook page.

“I probably need a hobby,” Cracker said.

Meanwhile, Cindy Horncraft emerged surprisingly strong from the first day of training camp with a scale BB-8 card box complete with remote control.

This valentine's box would only take a competitor three weeks to create. Not bad for something your child uses for 30 minutes in class.

This valentine’s box would only take a competitor three weeks to create. Not bad for something your child uses for 30 minutes in class.

“I knew that when I got to training  camp it was going to be all about  showing confidence and realism,” Horncraft said.

Coaches liked what they saw in Horncraft.

“She brought her A-game,” said Shane Darvish, a box-making coach. “Let’s hope she can stay healthy this year.”

Horncraft suffered a season-ending torn ACL during last year’s camp while trying to speed cut a hole in a shoe box.

Another standout at this year’s camp was Marlee Bumgartener, who’s switching sports after ranking second in last year’s Halloween costume-making competition.

“I believe I can do it,” Bumgartener said of making the switch just before VBM camp. “It’s just going to take a lot of hard work and focus. I’m going to start by pretending they’re just box-shaped costumes and go from there.”

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