Tag: tourism

“Suspiciously Tall” Man Asked to Leave Town Tour

by Coma News Staff

An unusually tall visitor was asked to leave a sightseeing tour recently after the tour guide grew suspicious about the man’s extraordinary height.

“If you’re trying to get one over on me, it’s probably not going to work,” Coma Land Mine Tour guide, Micah Horncraft said. “If you’re tall, that’s cool. I have nothing against that. But THAT tall? Come on man. Something’s up.”

According to witnesses, the tour began near O’Bert’s Grassy Pee Spot. After Horncraft discussed the history of the location, the group was ready to move on to the area behind the bus stop on Sixth Street when Horncraft stopped the tour.

“He told everybody to stop walking and said there was something ‘amiss’,” one witness said. “Then he pointed to this really tall guy and told him to step out. It was really awkward.”

ABOVE: Tour Guide, Micah Horncraft, stands near O’Bert’s Grassy Pee Spot where he recently removed a “suspiciously” tall guest. “A guy that tall’s got to be hiding something,” Horncraft said.

Horncraft reportedly told the man he was no longer welcome to continue the tour, apologized for the inconvenience and invited the man to return at a later date at no charge if he should “become a less-suspicious height.”

“I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone, for any reason,” Horncraft said. “And when you walk into my tour group and are the tallest human being in the history of the world, you’re gonna get checked at the door.”

Several eyewitness said they were surprised by Horncraft’s actions, especially because they didn’t find the visitor to be “that tall.”

“He was maybe six foot three or six four,” one eyewitness said. “He wasn’t tall enough to make you want to call authorities.”

Horncraft said it was only the second time he’s removed someone from his tour, citing a similar incident in 2011 when one of the guests was excused for having “too bushy of a beard.”

“I hate asking people to leave the tour,” Horncraft said. “But you come at me too tall or…too much facial hair, you’re just asking for it. I didn’t cause that guy to leave the tour. He caused it himself.”

Horncraft said the rest of the tour was uneventful.

 

Mayor Opens New Star Wars-Themed Playground in Coma

By Coma News Daily Staff

Mayor Dave Anderson kicked off the new year by welcoming visitors to Coma’s newest attraction; a space-aged, Star Wars-themed playground at a ceremony this week.

Approximately two dozen local residents attended the opening for the long-anticipated playground, which took nearly four years of planning and cost the city more than $60 to build.

ABOVE: "Hoth: Post Global Warming" allows children to run around in an empty grass field, much like what Hoth may resemble without the snow and ice

ABOVE: “Hoth: Post Global Warming” allows children to run around in an empty grass field, much like what Hoth may resemble without the snow and ice

“Star Wars movies have long inspired children’s imaginations,” Anderson told the crowd at the opening. “Now we will have a place for those children to live-out their own Star Wars adventures for generations to come.”

Some of the features and attractions of the new playground include:

ABOVE: The Millennium Falcon ride at the new playground provides thrills for children looking to reenact their favorite scenes from the popular spacecraft

ABOVE: The Millennium Falcon ride at the new playground provides thrills for children looking to reenact their favorite scenes from the popular spacecraft

  • “Hoth: Post Global Warming.” Children can run around on patches of grass in an open part of the lot that answers the question “What would the planet Hoth look like without all that ice and snow?” The answer, of course, is a vacant grass lot.
  • Emperor Palpatine’s Throne. A fun, interactive “throne” where children can sit and pretend to be the lovable Emperor Palpatine. Constructed entirely from repurposed materials including some old 4×4 deck posts and pallets, this is sure to be a hit with children of all ages.
ABOVE: Emperor Palpatine's Throne. This scale replica of the famous rulers chair is made of re-purposed lumber

ABOVE: Emperor Palpatine’s Throne. This scale replica of the famous rulers chair is made of re-purposed lumber

  • “VB8.” Kids will certainly get a “kick” out of Coma’s own version of the popular android BB8 from Episode VII. Coma’s version is an old volleyball (thus, “VB8”). The ball will be lying around for children to interact with while visiting the park.
  • Hay and Tube Thing. The playground’s centerpiece is an arrangement of hay and a black plastic conduit “tube”. Playground designers did not specify how this element ties in with Star Wars.
  • “Millennium Falcon Ride.” In what is sure to be a favorite for Han Solo fans, the playground features a Millennium Falcon ride in which riders sit on opposite ends of a beam, facing each other.
  • “Tattoine Reimagined.” Ever wonder what Tattoine, the popular desert-like planet from Star Wars, would look like with more vegetation? Wonder no more.  Children can run around on patches of grass in an open part of the lot that answers the question for you.
ABOVE: "VB8" is an interactive volleyball that resembles popular android BB8

ABOVE: “VB8″ is an interactive volleyball that resembles popular android BB8

Anderson said the new playground adds another attraction for the town as it seeks to increase tourism and noted the playground represents Coma’s “continued commitment to providing only the best experiences for our children.”

“This is a magical place that will put Coma on the map when it comes to popular themed entertainment destinations,” Anderson said.

ABOVE: Hay and Tube thing

ABOVE: Hay and Tube thing

Tourism Campaign Draws Criticism

tourism ad 3

By Coma News Staff

A new Coma tourism ad campaign has drawn criticism for its  depiction of Mayor Dave Anderson with a host of scantily clad women and a suggestive tagline with “scandalous undertones.”  The sexually-charged ads debuted in weekly newspapers across the midwest last weekend.

According to Anderson, the ads were designed to “sexy up” the small town in an effort to attract visitors from across the country by suggesting a “reasonable expectation of sexual intercourse.”

“Sex sells,” Anderson said.  “We need to get people walking around our streets, staying at our motel and spending money. The ‘Spring Break’ initiative worked well and this is the next step.”

tourism ad 4

The ads feature the mayor with female models in a variety of situations with the suggestive tagline “You’re about to get laid.”  While critics say the ads promote unsafe sex and tarnish the city’s reputation, Anderson said the ads highlight the many fun activities the town has to offer and that the sexual undertones are subtle and nuanced.

His critics disagree.

“I’ve seen more nuance on a children’s cereal box,” councilmember Bob Smith-Smith said.  “I thought it was an ad for an escort service.”

tourism ad 5

Jax Owen, a local used-car dealer and head of the Coma Tourism Commission, developed the campaign and said that ultimately the ads should be judged on the results.

“If I was sitting around some little shithole in Albequerque, Mexico and saw an ad like this guess where I’m going to be once I clear customs?  I’m going to be in Coma to get laid by a paramedic or a lady selling jeans,” Owen said.

tourism ad 7

Anderson, who recently suffered a setback on educational reform, said that while he was disappointed with the reaction to the tourism campaign, he was in the “you’re about to get laid” business for the long haul.