Tag: The Graduate

Opinion: The Graduate

The following commentary is the opinion of a citizen of the Town of Coma but does not represent the views of Coma News Daily.

 

Sadie Cracker

My son Jimmy had a practice for his May graduation ceremony yesterday.

Jimmy’s four years old.

His graduation from preschool is our latest experience with the trend of ever-increasing celebrations at the end of any academic year.

You probably remember a time when the only graduation was for high school. That’s because you’re old.

You can graduate from every important event in your life. All you need is a blank diploma and a life event.

You can graduate from every important event in your life. All you need is a blank diploma and a life event.

Now, we have graduated cylinders, Gerber Graduates, and graduations from every one of the K-12s.

All this celebrating may make high school graduation anti-climatic. But the bright side is that 12 years of dry runs should leave kids thoroughly prepared for their high school ceremonies.

If my husband was still with us, he would probably argue against attending our four year old’s graduation from the House of the Little Peoples, especially since the keynote speaker is Spazzo the clown–someone my husband despised.

Coma Council member Bob Smith-Smith spends his weekends in Coma as Spazzo the Clown.

Coma Council member Bob Smith-Smith spends his weekends as Spazzo the Clown.

At the graduation practice yesterday a small child walked up to me and asked if I had any “issues.”

I was shocked and then a little excited that a budding future therapist was apparently offering me a free counseling session.

But little Ollie Singleton has lost his baby front teeth so “tissues” doesn’t come out right. It was a pretty good reminder that sometimes we shouldn’t take four year olds–or their graduations–too seriously.

Sadie Cracker is a columnist for Coma News.