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Silent But Deadly: Trash Artist to Lead Quiet Parade

May. 10 Living no comments

Coma News Daily had the opportunity to sit down with the Grand Marshall of this Coma’s 12th annual Silent Parade Don Nichols. Among his many accomplishments, Don is both a twitter officianado@TheDairylandDon and also inventor of the garbage selfie on Instagram (click the link to follow him on both). We are excited that Don will be taking the Amtrak writer residency train to Coma and didn’t tell him that the train doesn’t stop and he’ll probably have to jump. In the interview below we talk with Don about his garbage baggage and also his love of silence.

CND: As I’m sure you’re aware, last year selfies surpassed lightning strikes as a cause of mortalities. What are you doing to protect yourself?

Don Nichols: “Safety is a primary concern for those of us in the up and coming Garbage Arts. I, myself, have been trying to throw away primarily items that contribute to a safe creating space.. Lots of spongy Styrofoam, bubble wrap, knee pads, elbow pads wrist braces, and helmets of a proper size that have been certified as OSHA compliant twice per year.”

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CND: As a self portrait artist of some renown, what is the single greatest challenge you have struggled with in your compositions?

Don Nichols: “As a wise person once said, ‘Never work with kids, animals, or weekly rubbish.’ I’ve had shoots take several hours just getting the garbage in the right mindset for its close-up. Ultimately, the reward is in the finished art; and on a side note, a few bags of my trash have gone on to be in some of Hollywood’s biggest hits. I’m quite honored.”

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CND: When you heard you were going to be the grand Marshall of the Coma Silent Days parade but realized trash was banned in Coma how did you explain that to your selfie friends?

Don Nichols: “The selfie community has surprisingly been my biggest supporter in this unfortunate situation. They know, as an artist, without my waste I am very vulnerable. It’s like, imagine inviting Jim Henson to be your Grand Marshall, but not allowing Mr The Frog, or The Karate Pig Lady, or, or, or that fluffy brown dog that plays the piano into your town limits? You probably wouldn’t do that, would you? Not without being labeled a Muppist. I guess trash is just low priority on the social justice ladder? But whatever. That’s what lawyers are paid for.”

Pictured here: Don and one of his friends. You can see all of these selfies and more if you follow his Instagram account.

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CND: I understand the Coma silent parade has expanded its participants this year beyond mimes, mime marching bands, and mime air balloons. Could you highlight a couple new participating groups for us?

Don Nichols: We’re extremely proud this year to welcome:

The National Society of Stern Librarians

Champions of The United States Sign Language Brawl For All

Glenn Partonhold: *2011 Winner of ‘America’s Next Top Creeping Tip-Toer’ reality show.

The Bashful Critters Who Just Don’t Want To Come Out Of The Box- Mobile Farm

and a special appearance by

“Shooshy” The Keep It Down Safety Clown. Be sure to come on out and not make a lot of noise with us.

The Coma Silent parade will take place Saturday, June 7th at 10am. It will start at Bear’s Biker Bar and end at Alan’s Vape and Vinyl .

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Tags: @thedairylanddon, Don Nichols, E.T., selfie, trash artist

Concerned Citizens of Coma Get On The Internet to Ban Selfies

Dec. 05 News no comments

The Group, Concerned Citizens of Coma decided today to start an online petition to ban selfies.

The Urban Dictionary, an online dictionary, describes selfies as:

An act usally carried out by girls aged 12-21, the act involves taking photos of ones self while posing.

Example 1: Yo man, I seen you put selfies up on facebook.
Example 2: Hey man, I was doing some facebook stalking today, found the hottest girl, check out her selfies.

Maralee Bumgartener, a shut in, activist and concerned citizen of coma has started this petition on the new Town Of Coma website and hopes to garner enough support to have the act of “selfies” banned by next month. “Selfies are a deceptive way that people post unfortunate and often inaccurate portrayals of themselves online” says Bumgartener during a phone interview. “We cannot quantify what the selfie photo is doing to a child’s self esteem.” When asked if she’d ever posted a selfie, Bumgartener replied yes and that the selfie “went viral” and she couldn’t get away from the stigma.“The internet definition of viral is similar to the clinical definition where in a sense a brain is infected by a popular but mindless clip some examples of this are kittens, puppies jumping off of anything and Geraldo Rivera in front of his bathroom mirror” said Dr. Jimmy, main clinician in Coma. “It’s not so much a disease but may require medication to keep people from watching over and over again.”The hope is the ban on selfies will keep Coma away from some of the travails of the internet. Mayor Dave is on the fence about legislating freedom of speech, “I like selfies.” Said the Mayor.

Examples of Selfies shown below: