Tag: moustache

Invention of Moustache Handlebars Almost Revolutionizes Transportation

moustache handlebars

 

Stan Bargmeyer, Coma News Intern and Historian

Invented in Winston Montgomery’s garage in 1894, the mustache handlebars were an instant success and put Coma on the objects-made-from-human-hair map.

Montgomery, who was fascinated by using human hair to construct everything from fake beards, toupees, lollipops and headstones, believed the mustache handlebar would revolutionize transportation by making bicycles more human-like.

In a 1894 article in The National Bicycle magazine, Montgomery wrote; “I take great pride in constructing the first semi-rigid handlebars made entirely from human mustache hair.  It is my gift to the world.”

Initial sales of the handlebars were promising but quickly dried up after users complained about the flimsy nature of the device and the inability to steer the bike, which resulted in a number of accidents.

Montgomery ceased production of the mustache handlebars in 1896.  The design of the handlebars subsequently inspired a popular facial hair fashion trend.

 

Stan Bargmeyer, Coma News Intern and Historian

Coma Futurist Society Opens “Future of the Moustache” Exhibit

Coma Futurist Society Curator, Micah Horncraft, stands beside one of the exhibits at "The Future of the Moustache"

By: Coma News Staff

The Coma Futurist Society opened its first public exhibit this week at the Suds & Suds on Fourth Avenue. Titled, “Future of the Moustache”, the exhibit features more than a dozen hand-drawn illustrations depicting the moustaches of 2114.

The exhibits aims to revolutionize the way people consider the future and–in this case–facial hair, according to Micah Horncraft, founder and curator of the Coma Futurist Society.

“A lot of people don’t really stop and think about what things might look like in the future,” said Horncraft.  “We’re sharing a vision with people and asking them to come along for the ride. Maybe this will give people less anxiety and more to look forwad to.”

According to Horncraft, there is no reason to think that in one-hundred years, humans would not be capable of growing feather moustaches

According to Horncraft, there is no reason to think that in one-hundred years, humans would not be capable of growing feather moustaches

If the illustrations in the moustache exhibit are any indication, the future moustache will bare little resemblence to its current form and functionality. The many forms of the future moustache shocked and confused attendees.

“I’ve read a lot on the internet, like Wikipedia, and feather moustaches are just not biologically possible for human beings to grow,” Coma Councilman Bob Smith-Smith said. “Of course, people who lived a couple thousand years ago couldn’t have imagined that humans would one day be able to heat up burritos in thirty seconds so maybe technology will get us there.”

The exhibit is hosted by Suds & Suds, the popular bar and laundromat located in downtown Coma. Suds & Suds owner, Mark Pelfry, said any chance to draw attention and traffic to his business is worth a shot.

“I like a good moustache as much as the next guy,” Pelfry said. “I was in as soon as they said the word ‘public.’ People have a hunger to see the future, especially when it comes to facial hair.”

Artist depiction of the "nosestache".  Horncraft said in the future, people will grow moustaches on the bridge of their nose

Artist depiction of the “nosestache”. Horncraft said in the future, people will grow moustaches on the bridge of their nose

Horncraft said his favorite piece in the exhibit features the “above the nose” moustache or, as he likes to call it, the “nosestache”.

“I grow wild with anticpation when I consider that sometime in the future people will grow moustaches on the bridge of their noses,” an excited Horncraft said.  “I just pray that day isn’t too far off in the future.  What a fun world this will be whence that day doth arrive.”

Horncraft said in the future, moustaches will be used as a form of simple communication

Horncraft said in the future, moustaches will be used as a form of simple communication

“This is the only place in Coma where you can see–and not just read about–the future today,” Horncraft said.

The exhibit is scheduled to run through March.