Local teen Chase Donovan announced this week the discovery of what he called the world’s first map.
Donavan shared the map at a press conference on Monday and said it includes ancient trade routes and a “lost continent.” The map, which measures 8.5” x 11,” resembled a standard printed sheet of copy paper.
“This looks really old,” Donovan said while holding it up for reporters. “I mean, just look at the drawing and how it’s kind of yellowish. It could be hundreds of thousands of years old.”
Critics moved quickly to point out several flaws in Donovan’s hypothesis.
“It is clearly a copy of a map that was printed from some stock photography website,” map critic Micah Horncraft said. “It includes the watermark ‘Deposit Photos’ all over it. Like why is anyone even listening to this kid?”
Donovan has stood firm on his claim that the map is likely the first ever to be created. He noted how old the image looked and how the image “just looked really old.” He defended the map from its many detractors.
“They say it can’t be legit because it has the words “deposit photos” all over it,” Donovan explained. “But, how do we know deposit photos isn’t the name of some really old company that made maps? Try thinking outside the box, you know?”
Donovan said he was hoping to “get some science done” on the map to confirm conclusively, one way or the other, the actual age of the map. Donovan stated he found the map folded up near a trash can outside the school cafeteria last week.
The 17-year-old junior said he is going to start a website about the map and plans on selling it to a museum for “several million bucks, at least.”
“It would be cool to sell it to someone at a rate of like, one dollar for every year of how old it is,” Donovan said. “How many millions of dollars could that be? One hundred? More? Nobody knows.”
Critics like Horncraft said the entire ordeal is a waste of time and energy.
“I just can’t believe that someone is interviewing me about what is clearly not an old map and something that was probably printed last Wednesday and discarded by someone running late for class,” Horncraft said. “How is nobody else seeing this?”
Donovan said he is allowing local scientists to review the document this week to make a determination.
The Coma Futurist Society’s latest exhibit, The Future of Fences, opened this week to a luke-warm reception by many visitors. The exhibit features a number of conceptual drawings about how fences might look and be made over the course of the next several hundred years.
According to curator and society director, Micah Horncraft, the exhibit provides a “critical examination of what a fence may represent in the future.” Critics noted an overall lack of “substantive content” and creativity in the exhibit. Horncraft maintains the exhibit is not only founded in a spirit of innovation but prides the exhibit on the wildly imaginative speculations.
“It is very likely that in several hundred years, we would not be able to recognize the fence of today,” Horncraft said. “I think that’s hard for people to understand sometimes. It takes a leap of imagination.”
The collection of drawings and sketches includes more than two dozen designs that Horncraft said were rooted firmly in science and technological advances expected to occur in coming centuries.
But skeptics have dismissed much of the exhibit’s pieces as “simple-minded” and “inherently misguided.”
“It seems like the only thing that makes these fences futuristic is that they float or fly,” one visitor, who wished to remain anonymous, said. “Like, who would build a small section of fence and put it on a cloud way up in the sky? Where is the utility?”
One of the most popular pieces includes a fence with what appears to be fixed wings and jet engines. Horncraft defended the liberal use of flying or floating fences.
“Why wouldn’t fences of the future be able to fly?” Horncraft asked. “I mean, lots of things are going to be flying around the sky in a couple hundred years so, I think we’re going to need fences in the sky too.”
The exhibit, which opened earlier this week, is scheduled to run through the end of February. While Horncraft is optimistic the interest and turnout will be strong he is concerned some of the early word-of-mouth reviews could deter some visitors. Some of the exhibit’s other highlights include:
– A floating fence on a cloud. Although Horncraft could not explain the physics behind this possibility, he did state “they’ll figure something out.”
– A fence made entirely from animal teeth. According to Horncraft, Animal teeth are going to be a primary building material in years to come.
– A fence made from a yet-to-be-discovered substance that is both a solid and a liquid and combines “elements of fire, electricity and is really elastic.”
“It was just bad,” another unidentified critic offered. “Like last year’s ‘Casserole’s of the Future’ it just relies too heavily on things flying. Like you can’t just draw a picture of a tuna casserole surrounded by clouds and say that’s the future of a tuna casserole! I mean, I don’t even understand the context in which you would want a casserole of any kind to float or fly.”
Horncraft said the exhibit will be open Thursday through Sunday from 2 p.m. – 6 p.m. Admission is $8 for adults and $4 for children.
By Micah Horncraft, Director of Coma Futurist Society
Every week, Micah Horncraft, Director of the Coma Futurist Society and renowned futurist will answer questions regarding future trends and the impact the future will have on society. See this week’s questions and answers below.
Q: What time will it be at this precise moment on this day in the year 2350?
A: 11:56 a.m. EST
Q: I like cake. A lot! Should I be worried that cake will somehow be extinct in the next 300 – 500 years?
A: Cake is expected to last into the foreseeable future. It may be very different from the cake you enjoy now, however. But if you have an open mind, enjoy root-based vegetables and can adequately digest some types of animal bones, you should be able to continue to enjoy cake for years to come.
Q: Will there ever be a professional hockey player named Lucas Shinewall? I think that would be a cool name for a hockey player.