Tag: fast food

Three Choking Incidents End Fast Food Chain’s Promotion

By Coma News Staff

Foot Bucket, Coma’s only animal-foot fast food restaurant, announced this week it was suspending its popular month-long “Beaks & Bones” promotion after several patrons nearly died from choking-related incidents.

According to a statement on the company’s website, Foot Bucket will cease serving “assorted animal beaks and bone fragments” to its guest in light of “mysterious and still undetermined sources of choking-related incidents.”

The company stopped short of accepting responsibility but owner of the company and Coma Town Councilmember, Jax Owen, said there is some evidence to suggest the bone fragments and beaks may have caused at least one of the victims to choke.

“We know for certain one of the guests choked on a goat femur,” Jax said. “that’s a pretty big bone to try to take down in one swallow. But when you play the bone-eating game, you gonna win some and lose some.”

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Micah Horncraft tried unsuccessfully to launch ‘The Grape Hut‘ as a healthy alternative to The Foot Bucket feels that these incidents might help citizens of Coma realize that healthier options are safer options. “There’s really only so many ways you can eat bones but grapes are soft and not fried.” said Horncraft.

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“Beaks & Bones” is an annual limited-time promotion the company runs every February. Historically, it is one of the most popular promotions with consumers and has driven record revenues for Foot Bucket in previous years.

“This may be one of those watershed moments for our organization,” Jax  said.  “Maybe it’s time to look at soft tissue and organs. A bit easier to swallow and less violent to digest.”

The company’s website also stated it was moving up the start date of a new promotion called “Arctic-Fest”, which will feature an assortment of arctic mammal foot-food including caribou, moose, Dall sheep, ermine and musk ox.  That promotion will start March 1 and run throughout the month.

Fast Food Chain Coming to Coma?

 

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According to sources inside the Mayor’s office, Coma may soon be welcoming its first fast food franchise. Based on an insider who wished to remain anonymous, town officials are in the process of finalizing terms on a deal to open a Foot Bucket restaurant within city limits.

“This would obviously be a really big deal for people who not only enjoy eating food, but, more precisely, enjoy eating different styles of animal-hoove food,” the insider said.  “Now, if I get the hankering for sheep foot or cow hoof, I don’t have to drive four hours round trip.  I can just go across town and get as much animal-foot style food I can eat.”

The popular fast food chain started in Mississippi in 1982 and has since opened more than 120 franchises in 28 states.  Known for its family-style meal the Bucket O’ Feet that features a mix of seven different fried animal feet, Foot Bucket has seen as dramatic rise in popularity following its “Itchy Ray” TV commercials.  The whimsical advertisements feature a character named Itchy Ray who robs a series of banks in order to get money to support his Foot Bucket addiction.

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While no official confirmation has been made, Mayor Anderson did admit that his office will soon be making an announcement about a new restaurant that would be opening in town that specializes in serving a very specific animal body part, although Anderson refused to elaborate.