By Coma News Staff
The Coma Town Council is considering renaming “Spring Break” after a week of reveling inflicted extensive damage and lewdness.
Town Councilman Bob Smith-Smith Proposed a simple solution to the devastation that followed to Mayor Dave Anderson’s executive order to provide $100,000 worth of free alcohol and comp rooms at Coma hotels.
“If you look in the Wikipedia you can see this kind of thing happens all the time in spring break towns,” said Smith- Smith. “The problem isn’t alcohol or nudity but really the name ‘Spring Break,’ which is associated with alcohol and nudity.”
Coma is a great place for Spring Break.
Anderson justified his use of the entire town emergency cash reserve as “one among many bad options” to increase tourism in Coma.
“Since we aren’t close to anything someone might want to visit then it seems to me that alcohol is the answer,” Anderson said.
Alcohol did seem like the answer until drunken students started beer bonging and then rioting in multiple Coma business establishments, including the recently opened Jax Big O Moonshine-sponsored Coma Division of Motor Vehicles.
“Everything was going good until we realized we shouldn’t have cars near drunk nude students,” Jax Owen said.
Owen estimated about $100,000 in body damage to vehicles in the DMV lot–not including “extensive” vehicle interior costs related to removal of vomit and various bodily fluids.
Smith-Smith proposed banning the name “Spring Break” and renaming it “Fun Time Off From Studies for Calm Enjoyment and Sober Respect for Each Other.”
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