Women may no longer suffer in silence, based on the results of a new Coma clinical trial.
In an exciting breakthrough for women everywhere, Dr. Jimmy, Coma physician, recently announced the amazing results of a new treatment for hypoactive sexual desire disorder.
Unlike medications advancing through the Food and Drug Administration marketing approval process, Dr Jimmy said his regimen has a much higher efficacy rate and fewer side effects.
“Ever since ancient shamans first described the Spanish Fly, we as a society have struggled to address the enduring medical mystery of chronic headaches, excessive sleepiness and a host of other problems that have unfairly limited women’s desire,” Dr Jimmy said. “Today we have the answer.”
Instead of a complex drug regimen, Dr Jimmy’s holistic therapy requires only common household items of booze, darkness, and the perception of wealth in a partner.
“The results are staggering,” Dr. Jimmy said.
The women following his regimen reported ten times the satisfaction of those on a placebo treatment of mineral water, disco lights and financial distress.
“These are some of the happiest women I have met, so the treatment’s effects seems to spread throughout their lives,” said Dr Jimmy.
However, it is unclear whether the treatment, known as booze, blackness and bank (B3), will be able to garner regulatory approval without the marketing heft of a multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical company or billionaire-backed activists.
“There won’t be any flashy ads or street marches for this treatment but real, quiet science is its own reward,” Dr. Jimmy said.
For the sake of our species’ survival, let’s hope this treatment comes to more than that.