Sports Prognosticator, Cartel Leader Hutt Confirmed Dead

By Coma News Daily Staff

Authorities confirmed this week that popular NFL expert and reputed crime boss, Jabba Desilijic Tiure (Jabba the Hutt), was murdered by a group of rebels at the Great Pit of Carkoon last week.

While details were still emerging, authorities said Jabba was murdered following a surprise attack on his recreational sailing barge while entertaining guests.  The attack, which is still under investigation, sent shockwaves across the Outer Rim Territories and much of the Midwest.

“By all accounts, Mr. Hutt and his guests were enjoying an afternoon in the desert and were savagely and ruthlessly attacked by a band of rebel scum,” a source close the investigation said. “It’s disturbing.  You can’t even host a friendly get together on a sail barge without being murdered by criminals these days.”

Hutt, who some claim had ties to organized crime including arms dealing, spice smuggling and gambling, appeared to put his troubled past behind him recently and had gained following as a popular sports prognosticator and NFL expert.

The death of the beloved, jovial Hutt caught many by surprise, including many of those who followed his weekly NFL pick column on the Coma News Daily website.

“I was really shocked,” said Jax Owen.  “Mostly because I thought he had died a long time ago.”

Authorities said they are continuing their investigation and confirmed the suspects were still at large and considered to be armed and dangerous.

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