Balls Disrupt Swim Meet
By Coma News Staff
Flying balls disrupted a Coma swim for the second time in as many weeks on Tuesday.
The five beach balls descended on swimmers from the Coma Piranhas and Martinsburg Megaladons during the 10- to12-year-old boys 50-meter breaststroke. No swimmers were injured but the race was “totally ruined,” according to one swimmer.
Coma Swim League leaders are investigating the source of the balls.
‘Comys’ Recognize Sports Leadership
For the first time, all 10 prizes for local amateur sports achievement over the last 12 months went to a single athlete.
Robert McGuiness, the first openly Scottish player in the history of the Coma Pool League, swept all categories of the Coma Sports Association’ annual awards event.
McGuiness triumphed in categories as varied as “Best YouTube Music Video by An Athlete” and “Most Improved Female Youth Athlete.”
McGuiness declined to appear at the awards dinner due to his objections to his selection. So, instead of award speeches, the dinner featured a 20-minute slow motion montage of McGuiness’ billiards highlights.
‘Chariot 2000′ to Debut
Jax Owen announced plans to launch a new sports league next month that will combine skateboarding with his love of dog breeding.
Dubbed Chariot 2000, in a nod to ancient Roman chariot races, the new sport will feature skateboarders pulled by teams of pit bulls around a quarter-mile running track. The full-contact race will encourage “extreme interaction” between the drivers and dogs, as well as the use of “non-lethal racing aides.”
“We’re putting the ‘sport’ back in ‘blood sport,'” Owen said.