By Stan Bargmeyer
One time I was telling a story about how I had a hard time removing my mail from the mailbox. The person I was telling the story to said I should write a book about all my adventures. I got to thinking that maybe I should.
The book would be about some of the things I’ve overcome and some of the adversities I’ve faced. Like the mailbox story. That would probably be chapter one. Chapter two would probably be about how I accidentally set my bathroom on fire when I started a fire in my bathtub.
There are a lot of interesting stories and anecdotes that could probably be cobbled together to make a book.
There was that time I stood in line at the grocery store for almost a half hour before I realized the register I was standing at was closed. Or the time I accidentally washed my hands with cooking oil. That could be a whole chapter right there.
I don’t know a whole lot about writing books. I’ve seen some at the store and know they take a lot of words and writing. I don’t know anything about book binding or printing either. Do I stitch the pages together? Or glue them? That might cause some problems.
But I do have a lot of interesting stories to tell. Like that one time when I accidentally swallowed some antifreeze and all my eyebrow hair fell out. Or that one Monday when I went the whole day thinking it was Wednesday.
People seem to love compelling stories like that.
I just don’t know if I would be able to create the artwork for the cover of the book. Most books have nice photos or paintings on them. I’m not very experienced at either thing so I don’t know if I could make it look nice.
I bet people would love my story about how I drove past an over-turned lettuce truck one time. There was lettuce all over the place. It looked like a salad bar exploded. See? I could make little jokes like that in the book too.
The other big problem I see is how much time it will take for me to make a lot of books. My house isn’t very big and I don’t even know where to get all the supplies. There is probably a book-making store somewhere. Hopefully it’s not too far away because I don’t like to drive at night.
Or maybe I just make one book and people pass it around. I’m not sure yet. But I do think I should try to write that book.