Man Gets Ready in Record Time


By: Coma News Staff

Coma resident Thomas Steven John  claimed this week he set a new personal record for getting ready.

“Twelve minutes,” John said with a wide grin.  “That includes showering, brushing my teeth, applying lotion to my face, getting dressed, putting on my shoes and collecting my keys, debit card, cash and a few breath mints.”

John, who told his friends and his girlfriend, Carol Tate, about his feat, said he can usually get ready pretty fast on a normal day, but there was something special about this experience.

“As I was drying my crotch I realized I had only taken about a two minute shower because my crotch wasn’t even wet,” John said.  “That’s when I knew I had a chance to get ready faster than I’d ever gotten ready before.”

John was preparing to meet his friends at a local tavern and ended up being nearly one hour early.

“I think I can do it even faster,” John said.  “If I eliminate the shower part and the tooth brushing, I could probably get ready in ten minutes.  Is it tooth brushing or teeth brushing?”

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