By Marybell Davis 25 years old, amazing life lived, awesome blogger of awesome things
My Aunt Agnes once said that they used to write things on paper and call it a diary or journal. She used a pencil. LOL! When I asked her if I could see her writing she said she lost it because it was on paper and her house had burned down. LOL LOL! That happened all the time in the 90s before Steve Jobs invented iTunes and the iPhone.
But that doesn’t happen anymore now that we have the internet and the Google that was created by a divine being!
When you reach your mid to late-twenties, like me, and you’ve lived like so many amazing moments, you need to share those moments and the epic wisdom you have derived from them. Just sayin. And also quote a bunch of old dead writers because that’s good writing.
Most important: don’t use paper anymore. Be a blogger.
Here are my tips on how to be the best blogger on the internet because you are really world wise in your 20s and there’s lots of stuff you can talk about that people don’t understand is awesome and epic but you understand it and that is why you blog.
1) Everything you do is OMG amazing because we are all fascinating in our own ways and you need to share it. Just sayin’.
When you’re in your twenties the rate that epic and amazing things happen really picks up. Whether it’s something about string cheese, eyebrow waxing or wearing a see through shirt so everyone can see your bra and know you are smart. This is important stuff. Whenever you run out of highly personal stuff to talk about (whatevs, TMI) make sure you talk about your kitty. Everything your baby cat does is interesting because you are so interesting and you must write about it.
2) Everyone you meet, every internship you have, every time you drink a beer it’s interesting. It’s epic. You forgot to take your birth control? That’s interesting. OMG!
See number one above but basically like everything you write is epic. I’m just giving you more examples of things that are totally interesting about you.
3) You may not think a lot of things have happened to you but they have so make sure you chronicle all of your love interests and break ups on the internet. Just sayin’.
It’s so sad they used to use things like diaries because that’s so secret LoL! Now you can write out everything and tweet it and let everyone know how special you are and how silly the guy is who broke your heart after he had sex with you in the back of his Jeep and made you wear a plastic bag over your head. FML!!
4) When you don’t know what to write quote one of those old dead “real writers” even if you’ve never read them.
When you are blogging and run out of things to blog just post quotes (super easy to find online thanks to the Google) that other “writers” came up with that sound interesting. You can credit the writer or not just make sure you put the whole thing in quotes because that makes more real to people.
I love Jack Keroac (dead, road around in a car, wrote poetry, blah, blah, blah) or Shakespeare (dead, super dead, wrote weird sentences, boring but great because no one understands his sentences) or Kanye West (alive, married to Kim, wealthy, super smart, kicks Paparazzi ass) and what I really love is to add an LOL or emoticon at the end of the quote like this, ” Great things are not accomplished by those who yield to trends and fads and popular opinion.” Jack Keroac– LOL.
5) When you can’t think of something epic to write just look at your room, the top of your dresser or what you are wearing.
Remember when I said that you are awesome? You are! So write about your fashion, your room, your experience decorating your room or ways you make ramen noodles and beer work as four different food groups.
The moral of this story is that everyone is a blogger but you are a better blogger because you’ve had more happen to you in 27 years than people can imagine. Don’t let them imagine! Tell them exactly everything that has happened to you verbatim. That’s legit.
Tune in next week for more “writing” tips with a focus on how to break up on Facebook. For now my cat, Mr. Green Jeans, just spit up a hair ball LOL FML. As my internet friend Kanye said when I googled him “I don’t know what’s better gettin laid or gettin paid”. TTYL!!!!