Gen Y Me

Editors’ note: The following is the opinion of a Coma resident and does not reflect the views of Coma News Daily.

Bob Smith-Smith
A growing number of people have approached me in recent weeks with some version of “Bob, how does an old dog like you reach these crazy young people today?”

It’s honestly a question I’ve struggled with since my establishment, Bob’s Mart, recently moved to only employ Millenial cashiers.

The answer is as simple as it is complex. As a proud lifelong member of the “Baby Boom” generation responsible for things like bra burning, medical advances that allow seeming immortality, and never-ending rules to try to keep the knuckleheads of this town from hurting themselves, I’ve realized some hard truths. For instance, our never-ending desire to work may have cost countless marriages and led innumerable children to grow up without parents but the flip side is we have so much professional know-how to share and have gathered the retirement savings necessary when you live forever.


This personal drive to contribute has other dark sides, like keeping boomers from seeing when we’re not wanted or needed. Case in point, my first wife, Allie, who started the business with me won’t accept that its time for her to retire and make room for my new wife Claudia, who is 24 and recently gave birth to my 7th child, Hector.

I’m so proud of Claudia but she’s a great example of a younger generation that appears more comfortable in social media than in a “bor-ring” job.

Answer: Make them work together. There’s nothing like close, interpersonal interaction to help people realize their potential.

I’ll admit it’s been slow going and the main subject of communication between my two star employees appears to be sharing the things that annoy me, but hope springs eternal that a young supple worker bee will soon find her job groove while the other will soon buzz off for good.

So stop by Bob’s Mart, where the air may be full of my dirty laundry but your cart will be full of savings.

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