Coma Mayor Fails Doomsday Prepper Assessment

by Coma News Staff

Filming for the popular National Geographic Channel’s “Doomsday Preppers” wrapped up this week in Coma after the producers completed a segment on the town’s mayor, Dave Anderson. Anderson said that while it was a fun experience, he strongly disagrees with the shows expert assessment of his apocalypse readiness .

According to the show’s producers, Anderson recorded the lowest score ever issued by the show’s expert panel of preppers and survival experts.

“Based on our assessment, Dave Anderson should have died about three weeks ago,” a show staffer who wished to remain anonymous said. “I didn’t even know you could get a score like that.”

Prepper Score 2

Above- Anderson’s assessment was the lowest scored ever issued by the show’s panel of expert survivalists and preppers.

The show, which features survival-minded citizens preparing for a myriad of natural disasters, government take-overs and other end-of-the-world scenarios, issues scores for each subject’s preparation efforts. The scoring is on a scale of 1 to 100. According to producers, Anderson scored a zero, a score they confessed they did not realize was possible.

doomsday preppers logo

Anderson admits that while he might not have the stores and supplies as many of the preppers featured on the show, the camera crews happened to catch him on a bad day.

According to producers, Anderson’s preps included the following:

–          Two packs of chewing gum

–          Hammer (broken handle)

–          Several packages of unopened Post-It® Notes

–          Half-eaten ham and provolone sandwich (on sourdough, no mustard)

–          “Assorted milk products”

–          Sammy Hagar “I Can’t Drive 55” T-shirt

–          Chair

One expert prepper who reviewed Anderson’s efforts reportedly told producers “a newborn infant baby just coming into the world would have a better survival score than this douchebag.”


dave anderson in camouflage post

Anderson said he was surprised producers weren’t more impressed in his baseball card collection or old Mad Magazines.

According to Anderson, much of his survival planning involves bartering and he believes his collection of items will provide valuable assets to trade with other survivalists should the world end.

“Even in a world ravaged with famine and death and disease and no electricity or clean water, I can’t imagine people not wanting or needing something like Post-It® Notes,” Anderson said. “They come in really handy when making grocery lists or just little reminders.”

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