Dr. Jimmy’s Advice for New Parents– How to Leave the House Wearing Pants
By Doctor Jimmy
At my Clinic in The Town of Coma I am constantly asked by parents with small babies- “because it takes so long to get a baby out of the house, Dr. Jimmy, how can I make sure I am wearing pants?”
Here is a short check list I give them:
1) Put the screaming baby down, preferably in a seat that it is strapped into as babies tend to run.
2) Check yourself: are you wearing pants?
3) – If you aren’t wearing pants go find a pair of pants. Put the pants on. Is the baby screaming? Don’t listen. You cannot walk out of the house without pants on.
4) – If you are wearing pants check your shirt or have now put pants on: Check your shirt. Is your shirt clean? Does it smell like baby vomit? If your shirt smells like baby vomit but you can’t smell it don’t worry about changing and leave the house immediately. Do not take time to think about it or you may never leave the house.
The most important thing for new parents is to make sure once you’ve found your pants and determined that your vomit stained shirt is not noticeable—make sure you bring the baby with you. Do not leave the house without the baby.