By Coma News Daily Staff
Life-long Coma resident Steven Phillips has lived in the same house with his mom and aunt for the past 35 years. According to Phillips, he knows his neighborhood “extra real good.” That is precisely why he was shocked to recently discover the small, run-down Welsh Farms convenience store located one block south from his home in Coma.
“That blew my mind, you know?” Phillips said. “How can a store like that not be there one day but then suddenly be there the next day?”
For the 47-year old Phillips, there is only one practical explanation; aliens. According to Phillips, who friends lovingly refer to as “Stoner Steve”, alien life forms must have cleared the land, laid foundation, ran all necessary utilities, framed, roofed, painted, decorated and fully stocked the small unassuming convenience store in less than a 24-hour period.
“Aliens have all kinds of crazy technology and they can do stuff like that. A lot of the technology we have today is because they taught it to us. Like the microwave, pants and…I don’t know…the internet?” Phillips said from his basement bedroom, adding “what really freaks me out is, okay, you build this store but what was there the day before? Start thinking about that.”
Critics, notably Wayne Welsh, owner of the convenience store that bears his name, are not convinced the store is the result of alien efforts.
“Considering this store has sat in this very spot for more than 35 years is probably the best evidence that it wasn’t recently built by aliens overnight,” Welsh said. “What’s even more troubling is that Steven used to be our paperboy. The guy delivered newspapers to our store every day for almost two years.”
Phillips denied any knowledge of delivering papers to the convenience store and suggests it’s likely part of some larger cover story to protect the truth from getting out into “human space places.” Phillips may not be alone, however. According to one of Stoner Steve’s long-time associates, Curly “Munch” Higgins, Phillips may be on to something.
“Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude,” Higgins said. “If Stoner Steve says that’s true then it probably is. Did you know the government has these special bicycles that you can ride to the moon? Steve knows all about stuff like that.”
For his part, Phillips is adamant that his theory is true and that evidence will eventually prove him right.
“I’m just going to chill out here in my mom’s basement and wait for all everything to go down and then everyone will come running to me to tell me I was right and I’ll just be like; ‘Yeah’.”