Coma Schools Add a Ton of Fun

By Coma News Daily Staff

Coma students waiting for the bus last week wondered why the ground was shaking and why they heard thunder on a clear morning.

Then they realized it was just Desert Rose, the M1A1 main battle tank that Coma Schools recently purchased to replace its broken school bus, coming to pick them up.

“This vehicle really is about peace of mind,” Town Council member Natalie Peters said about the vehicle, which she pushed the schools to buy.
“No bears will be eating kids on the way to school in this town.”

The tank, which is painted school bus yellow and says “Coma  Public Schools” along the barrel of its main gun, was somewhat hot, cramped and loud, according to students. But it also was safe.

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Meet ‘Rose,’ the latest transportation option for Coma school children recently purchased by the Town Council.

“I thought I was having a heart attack,” local retiree Stan Bargmeyer said about the first time heard Rose coming through his neighborhood. “Then I saw this metal beast blast through my back fence and tear across the yard.”

School officials said they are still tweaking Rose’s route schedule but “most likely” will stick to using roads in town.

Asked about some residents’ complaints regarding the increased militarization of the school system, Coma Mayor Dave Anderson said Rose was not a real fighting vehicle because she lacked armor-piercing rounds.

“Our students with learning disabilities and special needs should especially benefit from this educational resource,” Anderson said.

He noted that the state’s only other armored school bus was more than an hour away in the state capital.

“By that time probably any bear-related damage will be done. ”  he said.

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