Coma Convo: Olden Times
With Marybell Davis, 25 years old, amazing life lived. Total Private Dick (so gross).
Welcome to Coma Convo with your amazing host, me Marybell Davis!
This week in the convo we catch up with another Internet celebrity, Megan Grano! This woman is breaking all the rules of life online, like needing to be hot or young or fun! Megan got together with some other old ladies and created the Breakwomb and you can see their videos every week by clicking here.
How does this mom and wife keep being so amazing online, instead of, you know, just giving up? Because she and her Breakwomb partners are on a quest to Make Motherhood Hot Again.
This 25-year-old hardcore Instagrammer decided to reach across the generations and ask her loudly–because the old people hearing–about what makes her amazing and what, if anything, Makes Motherhood Hot Again.
Marybell Davis: Hey, Megan. Thanks for catching up with Coma Convo!
Megan Grano: Hi Marybell, thanks for asking me here. I hope I can shed some light on topics you said you wanted to discuss and allay some of your concerns.
MD: Let’s get right to one of the scariest questions first. I’ve heard a lot about a “mom bod.” Can you explain it to me? What will happen to me if I catch mom bod?
MG: Mom bod is basically what a woman’s body looks like after growing a human for nine months. After the baby comes out, you’re left with pancake boobs, a flabby tummy, double-wide hips, drumstick thighs, varicose veins, stretch-marks, and of course, cankles. Sounds alarming, but the good news is: mom bod is still a million times hotter than dad bod.
MD: I’ve heard being a mom is no fun but then I hear stories about bodily fluids flying all over, guys running around with no pants, and waking up at 3 a.m. with some dude. So it sounds kind of wild. Almost like a frat party?
MG: Marybell, if you like frat parties, you will love motherhood! It’s basically the same thing, except instead of your drunken haze being relegated to nights and weekends, motherhood keeps it going every day, all day! And speaking of hazes–just like a frat bro–kids love a good hazing, whether they’re waking you up at 2 a.m. with loud screaming or pooping on your kitchen floor because they didn’t feel like using the toilet. Sigma Gamma for life!
MD: I’m sorry but I really need to go back to mom bod. Is it preventable?
MG: Boy, Marybell, I can tell you’re really worried about mom bod. Rightly so (see description above). My best advice to you is to treasure what you’ve got now. Sleep around as much as possible. Consider stripping. Or at least nude modeling. The point is: flaunt what you’ve got while you’ve got it, sister, because if you ever have a kid, that bod is a goner.
MB: I often think what I would tell a future daughter, like not letting anyone define her and how instead, she should define her own abs. Is there any advice you might give your future self when you turn 60?
MG: If I were giving a 60 year old version of myself advice, I’d say: I know you feel old and ugly, Megan, but think about it, if you live to be 100 like your grandmother Grano, 60 is basically only halfway there! That means you’re still pretty darn young, relatively speaking. So go don a bikini, head to Santa Monica beach, and scare the crap out of the hot young volleyball players there!
MB: Terrifying. But that’s all the time we have for this week’s Coma Convo, so thanks for joining us, Megan. You can follow her Breakwomb videos on Facebook, like my mom and a bunch of other weird people. And to everyone else, convo next time! You can purchase your hot mom trucker hat here: Motherhood is Hot