City Money Farm Festival Sprouts

By Coma News Daily Staff


After buying up all of the farms in Coma last year, Coma News Daily publisher, Davis Montgomery III realized yet another dream last weekend.

Montgomery spearheaded the town’s newest festival, the City Money Farm Festival.
And the 10,000 attendees proved that there’s a vast weekend day drinking market for people who want to drive out to the country and experience the fresh manure filled organic air that only exists in our great Coma farms.
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“Not only does this provide very important Weekend jobs for Coma News and cash making opprotunities for reporters to supplement their pay of food stamps and coupons,” said Montgomery. “It also provides city dwellers with guilt assuaging ways to be in the country without the smallest chance of ever stepping in animal poop.”
Farm animals are banned from the farm festival.
When he wasn't editing Coma News, Don Johnson Michaels was doing free farm labor for Coma Publisher Davis Montgomery III.

When he wasn’t editing Coma News, Don Johnson Michaels was doing free farm labor for Coma Publisher Davis Montgomery III.

The event kend brought swarms of urban yuppies to the country for wine, craft beer, and inoffensive banjo music played by hipsters–nothing like the film Deliverence.

“The only problem I see,” said Janice Gasbag, a corporate attorney who lives in the city and has listened to Tom Petty twice. “Is the weather. It’s just never going to be as comfortable as my loft apartment in the trendiest part of town. Also, I can’t get good internet service.”

Montgomery has solved that problem by enabling city folks to “rent a farmer” who will not only fan you but will also lay on the ground and let you step on him in order to avoid feces.

Not all Coma citizens are happy with the city people coming to town.
“I live here to get away from all that crap. Isn’t it there enough we’ve already got to deal with  these anal knowitalls on Facebook?” said Owen.
Owen recently opened up a City Dweller Zombie run that charges a mere $100 per person to park your car among authentic  farm animals.
“We dressed the chickens and goats up as Zombies which has never been seen before,” Owen said.

The farm is open from 9 to 5 with $40 undercooked pizzas for anyone who is drunk and needs food. Or you can bring your own over-priced Whole Foods stuff. No outside alcohol allowe


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