By Coma News Daily Staff
After buying up all of the farms in Coma last year, Coma News Daily publisher, Davis Montgomery III realized yet another dream last weekend.
“Not only does this provide very important Weekend jobs for Coma News and cash making opprotunities for reporters to supplement their pay of food stamps and coupons,” said Montgomery. “It also provides city dwellers with guilt assuaging ways to be in the country without the smallest chance of ever stepping in animal poop.”
The event kend brought swarms of urban yuppies to the country for wine, craft beer, and inoffensive banjo music played by hipsters–nothing like the film Deliverence.
“The only problem I see,” said Janice Gasbag, a corporate attorney who lives in the city and has listened to Tom Petty twice. “Is the weather. It’s just never going to be as comfortable as my loft apartment in the trendiest part of town. Also, I can’t get good internet service.”
Montgomery has solved that problem by enabling city folks to “rent a farmer” who will not only fan you but will also lay on the ground and let you step on him in order to avoid feces.
Not all Coma citizens are happy with the city people coming to town.
The farm is open from 9 to 5 with $40 undercooked pizzas for anyone who is drunk and needs food. Or you can bring your own over-priced Whole Foods stuff. No outside alcohol allowe