By Coma News Daily Staff
A primate, a politician and a futurist walked into a bar.
Actually, it was a museum. But those involved in a violent incident Wednesday agree on little else.
The incident occurred during a visit to the Coma Futurist Society’s exhibit of mustache-themed artwork by Coma Town Councilwoman Natalie Peters and her latest pet, Bo-Bo Bo-Bo, a chimpanzee.
Micah Horncraft, the society’s curator, said Bo-Bo assaulted a painting featuring a mustached Oak tree. Peters said that allegation is untrue, and that Horncraft launched an unprovoked assaulted on Bo-Bo.
Amid the uncertainty, Sheriff Paul T Frostnib said he’ll investigate the incident when he’s “done washing his dog’s hair.”
“Bo-Bo Bo-Bo is not usually aggressive chimpanzee but there was something about the facial hair on those trees that really agitated him,” Peters said. “They obviously need warning signs for other chimpanzee rescuers that images could be disturbing to our babies’ beautiful little minds.”
Horncraft declined comment other than to say he would like his privacy respected at this time but did want to remind Coma residents that in the future a mustache will be used as a form of communication.
Peters had a lot to say.
“Someone needs to stop people from being violent to these chimpanzees,” said Peters. “That man punched a defenseless primate in the face.”
She went on to describe the primate as “the kind of guy who would take a road trip with Clint Eastwood–one of the greatest filmmakers of my generation–and become best friends.”
But opinions about Bo-Bo Bo-Bo were divided.
“I’ve never met a chimpanzee I didn’t like–until Bo-Bo,” said Jax Owen, owner of Jax Used Cars. “And I’m not gonna say that double hyphenate. It’s just overkill.”