By Coma News Daily Staff
Who’s hot in the basement?
We have a better idea this week after the Coma Basement Association’s (CBA) long-awaited combine.
Standout prospects at the annual event to assess potential teammate’s for the CBA draft next week included Chase Donovan, whose hand-eye coordination impressed the league’s assembled coaches.
“We’re looking for switch players who can comfortably bounce back and forth between various video game platforms and old school events like ping pong, so Chase’s combination of finger dexterity and an ability to stand up shows potential,” said Jax Owen, head coach for last year’s CBA defending champions, the Digital Ballers.
The county-wide league of combined basement-based sports marked its fifth anniversary this winter. This season will feature several new European-themed events for teams to compete in, including foam-covered PVC pipe-sword fencing.
“It’s a wee bit more like wacking each other with broad swords than it is fencing,” said Robert McGuiness, the league’s first openly Scottish coach. “But the name gives it a bit of class.”
Whatever you call it, the latest event is likely to burn off plenty of insane winter-time kid energy, which is why the league exists in the first place.
“This league literally saved my life last winter,” said Sadie Cracker, a Coma mother of two young boys. “The boys seem to like it, as well, I guess.”