By Robert McGuiness, Coma News Reporter, Not an Alcoholic
Coma News staff has learned the telegraph format, popularized in the 19th century, is apparently not the preferred format for online communication on computers. Furthermore, it would appear there are very few rules in regards to style, format and even punctuation on the internet. By all accounts, it’s an “anything goes” buffet of excessive exclamation points, multiple question marks to end sentences and random abbreviations.
This news is startling, however there is no indication yet that the internet poses a health risk to citizens. Coma News has contacted Coma physician Dr. Jimmy about risks of using computers online.
“I am not aware of any violent deaths associated with the internet.” said, Dr. Jimmy.