The following is a paid advertorial and does not reflect the views of Coma News Daily
12 Do and Don’ts of Participating in A Bigfoot Focus Group
By Coma News Daily Staff
Bigfoot Focus Groups recently started offering their consumer insight services to Coma businesses.
But town residents wanting to offer their opinions in exchange for a payment should come prepared.
Here are some tips to get the most out of your next Bigfoot Focus Group:
1) Initial questions are supplied in written form in case of difficulty understanding the moderator, Todd the Sasquatch.
2) Try to remember the questions when you read them because things can get pretty intense as your focus group works through its feelings about various brand products. Question placards have been known to be torn to pieces and consumed by the moderator as he howls in despair.
3) Each focus group will consist of 10 people and we ask that you don’t be the guy who points at Todd the whole session with his mouth hanging open.
4) Let Todd know upfront if you’re shy so he can help ensure your comfort with continuous neck and scalp massages during the session.
5) Please be honest about how you feel toward the products reviewed by the focus group. Todd literally smells deceit. We are not responsible for the shunning Todd will unleash on lying liars.
6) This is super easy. We’re literally paying you to bore us with your opinions. So don’t forget to relax and enjoy yourself. This is important to remember if Todd does that thing where he freezes, stares at you and then dives across the table at you before sniffing you all over. He usually snaps right out of it.
7) We ask participants to not wear perfume or strong cologne. This is springtime, after all, and Todd is male and has only so much self restraint.
8) After Todd presents the product to your group and you’ve given your initial impression of it, he’s likely to gesture to you to then delve deeper. It’d be helpful if you could then stand up and act out how you use the product in your daily life. Todd is a very visual guy.
9) We usually show various versions of a commercial to get the impression of focus group participants. These commercials will all involve a dog and/or woodland creatures. So if those types of commercials sound “lame” or “stupid,” please don’t tell Todd or he may eat your cash payment right in front of you.
10) We’ll go ahead and apologize in advance to focus groups testing dog food, Todd is very likely to gobble mouthfuls between questions.
11) If you’re confused by any of the questions or halting screams coming from Todd, just ask him to repeat the question–no matter how many times or how visibly angry he gets. Todd’s just gotta get better at this part.
12) Please don’t try to haggle over the $90 compensation. Todd has no more money to give you and definitely don’t accuse him of skimming $10 that would have made it an even $100–he’ll be crying in our arms all night.