Archive for: December 2016

Pervert’s Message Mistaken for Pro-Women Support

By Coma News Daily

Coma residents’ hearts were warmed this Christmas season when a welcoming sign for all residents appeared along the roadside of the town’s main thoroughfare.

“You Belong in Here. All Ladies Welcome”

The sign and its creator, Jax Owen, went viral, with more than 10 “likes” on the town’s Facebook page.

Since the election of the town’s first animal representative, Master Splinter—a rat—Owen has been looking for a way to show some compassion and unity with his neighbors.

“I have seen a lot of malaise and loss since election day,” Owen posted on Facebook in a response to the photo going viral. “What to do? With myself? With my time? To make things better, or even just to slog through?”

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But Owen didn’t just slog through. On a Friday afternoon last week he decided to make a sign, drive to the curbside of his home, A Home for Those Guys, which is an assisted living community for divorced men, and stand on the public sidewalk.

He turned his sign towards the adjacent Curves gym.

“This was about binding up the wounded,” Owen said. “About showing compassion and empathy for the hurting and fearful among us.”

Dr. Jimmy, another resident of the divorced men’s assisted living facility, said his neighbor was fully committed to sending a strong message of support for those that are feeling vulnerable following a contentious Town Council election.

“He wanted to pass a message to a group he felt was targeted,” Dr. Jimmy said.

Owen’s efforts seemed to be bearing fruit.

“Yeah, I guess it’s an OK sign but you couldn’t pay me enough to go into the ‘facility,’” said Marlee Baumgartner, a local woman. “Not again. Not ever again. Have you seen the pool there?”

The Season of Squeezin’

By Coma News Staff
How many people can you feed with a hug?
One man in Coma is trying to find out.
Town Councilman Jax Owen has pledged to donate to the Coma Food Pantry every time one stranger hugs another and it is captured on film, tape, or sketch pad during this Christmas season. The donations, which will include a range of squeezed juices, applesauce and pumpkin-flavored mashed potatoes, are part of one councilman’s effort to show his appreciation for Coma.

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“As much as I want to, I may not be able to hug every woman–or other resident–of this town by Christmas,” Owen said. “But hopefully they’ll think of me every time they’re caught up in some stranger’s big ol’ bear hug.”
The owner of a used car dealership, Owen’s claim to fame before winning public office earlier this month was as the founder of the women-only Hug Club.
Another Town Council member to launch an initiative tied to the holidays is Natalie Peters, who is raising awareness of the flu and other communicable diseases through her Hot Zone for Health initiative.
“Maintaining a two-foot distance from others at all times can cut your risk of contracting explosive diarrhea by 27%,” Peters said. “That’s hard-won experience talking .”