An LOL Mystery: Why Is Baseball So Thrilling?
Marybell Davis, 26 years old, Amazing Life Lived, Awesome Blogger of Awesome Things
I have a boyfriend. He’s amazing. He created the Hug Club in Coma and he’s running for office. I don’t see him a lot because he’s so busy but since we are like so together I post all about him all over my Facebook. Oh, and he’s rich. So we will be super happy.
Recently, he said, “if you want to come over I am watching post season baseball. It’s exciting.”
When I arrived at his house it was the sixth inning and he’d had eight beers. Apparently drinking is an important part of baseball.
I noticed right away that baseball doesn’t have cheerleaders (boo) and it’s hard to tell who’s winning because both teams have really low scores and are wearing ugly uniforms (except for the hats).
I started asking my bf a lot of questions about the game and he told me to hush because it was really exciting.
So I waited for the excitement to happen and here’s what I saw:
–A guy came up to a plate with a bat–bf takes a drink,
–Another guy on a mound of dirt (gross) across from him spits, and then he throws a ball–bf drinks,
–The guy at the plate either hits or misses and this goes on forever–bf drinks.
–Sometimes the guy with the bat gets a chance to run–bf drinks a lot. Running guy usually gets tagged by a guy who was standing around for an hour until a ball *yuck* came his way– bf takes a shot,
Finally running guy has to go back to a hole where all the guys hang out (probably smelly) until it’s their turn to to do it all over again– bf can drink to that!
Although I don’t think I’ll ever care enough to learn how baseball works, I did realize that what makes baseball really exciting is the drinking.
Mystery solved. This private dick (gross) is on the case.
Daddy Warbucks: how’s the job search Marybell?
Me: Hows this for a job? I solved the mystery of how to make baseball exciting.
You say bottom of the eighth; I say bottoms up.