By Coma News Staff
Citing a natural progression in the evolution of the recently created Coma Futurist Society, curator Micah Horncraft announced this week his organization is planning a new exhibit that will focus on the “future of the past.” The exhibit will explore how the future may have looked to people who lived 50,000 years ago and will include hand-drawn illustrations of the types of objects and tools somebody living in the paleolithic age may have imagined for the future.
“This exhibit really forces the viewer to ask the question, ‘What would I think the future hold if I was sitting on a log in Southeast Asia sucking on the bone marrow of a sabertooth cat some fifty-thousand years ago?'” Horncraft said. “I think people will be pleasantly surprised at the answers they find.”
Above: According to Horncraft, paleolithic man likely imagined a futuristic taco made of tree bark, twigs and assorted varieties of grass
The exhibit, which opens next month, includes nearly three dozen items. Horncraft said each piece was meticulously researched and holds historical relevance and accuracy.
“Although we can’t say for certain what paleolithic people would have thought about the future, we think we got pretty damn close,” Horncraft said.
Above: Paleolithic man’s vision of a futuristic Xbox One gaming system would have resembled a log
According to Horncraft, the exhibit is culturally significant because it not only teaches people that prehistoric man dreamed about the futue but also demonstrates how dumb they were, which contradicts conventional wisdom.
“We typically view prehistoric man as some intelligent and sophisticated guy who went around inventing wheels and fire,” Horncraft said. “What this exhibit demonstrates is that he had a limited grasp of physics, food preparation, technology, board games and filmmaking.”
Above: According to Horncraft, prehistoric man’s vision of a futuristic microwave oven would have resembled a log
Horncraft dismissed critics who said the exhibit was nothing more than a series of hand-drawn logs and sticks and provided very little real insight into the struggles and experiences prehistoric man encountered on a daily basis.
“Yes, there are a lot of logs but guess what? That’s about all they had back in those times,” Horncraft said. “They had logs and rocks and maybe a gun or knife or something to protect themselves.”
Above: Prehistoric man likely envisioned future dinosaurs wearing jet packs and wielding kitchen knives
Horncraft said his favorite part of the exhibit features a dinosaur wearing a jet pack and wielding a sharp kitchen knife.
“Talk about shitting your loin cloth,” Horncraft said. “They were already terrified of dinosaurs and then you add a jetpack and cutlery to the mix and you have the ultimate killing machine. I can’t imagine how horrified they were thinking about that.”
The exhibit is expected to open May 2, although a location has yet to be determined.
Slightly used until I threatened divorce. He doesn’t make Duck Dynasty money. Porch pick up. No hair included.
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