By Robert McGuiness, Reporter Coma News, Not an Alcoholic
Town of Coma News launches website on the world wide websites STOP Follows recent ban on paper products STOP All news to be broadcast over internet STOP Citizens in state of confusion STOP Mayor Dave Anderson to make public address STOP Encourages citizens to embrace change and look to future STOP
Little is known about safety of internet STOP Be diligent STOP Lock doors STOP Please read this STOP
If you have news to share with citizens COMMA send electronic mail with details STOP Interested in wide range of news COMMA but particularly interested in learning how recent bans affect citizens STOP Is it affect or effect QUESTION MARK That one always gets this reporter STOP Maybe either is correct STOP Someone might need to go back to grammar school STOP Just kidding STOP But seriously COMMA not sure what is correct STOP